Would you date someone who isn't suspected to live very long?

Hi... This is kind of a personal question on my end, but the thought is really scaring me right now, so please bear with me. I have a series of serious medical issues that deplete my chance of survival past the age of 22, and I also have frequent hospital visits/check ups/follow ups/pre-ops, etc.. Operations, too. Well, I have a boyfriend, who lives not too far from me, and I love him with all my heart. He comes first before a lot of things, and I'm just scared to tell him about all of this, because I think he'll leave me -- we don't really have a chance to talk to each other that much, either.

I don't really tell him much about my medical issues, because I'm scared to. I'm scared that he won't care about me anymore, if he figures out I'm not going to be living very long, if everything goes as suspected.

I'm sorry. I know this site is more for funnier, less-intense topics, but I just want to know this stuff. I want to know if I should tell him, or if I should just let him figure it out, or whatever. I'm scared, okay?

  • I would date someone like this, but I'd always have my eye on someone else, if they do die.
    Vote A
  • I wouldn't date someone like this.
    Vote B
  • I would date someone like this, and stay loyal.
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I only had about 7/8 months with my gf before she passed away. Life was very dark after that, it took about a year to fully come back for me. She was definitely my proverbial "one" and a very tough act to follow. I think it's more of the deep sense of chemistry, the level of comfort in communication as well as the strength of trust between each of you. How long have you guys been going out? I think you should tell him, be honest and if he's worth any damn he wouldn't let you face it alone. I sure as hell didn't let her go alone, I went to chemo, doctor's appointments, she'd have intense migraines to where she didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I'd pick up the med from the pharmacy, she didn't have much of a medicare plan so I'd pay for some of those. Her medicare and insurance covered the chemo. It sucked, so bad I hated life every minute thinking how can she be so happy and peaceful when all I want is to bash God's face in. Don't worry about the negative posts on here, many are actually here to help, lames will always be lames. Tell him and just be honest and see what he does. If you feel like PM me, to talk I'd be more than happy to help.


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What Guys Said 4

  • So sorry to hear, really do hope things go well for you.

    I think there's a difference between your boyfriend and the question, which is asking if we'd date someone knowing beforehand, whereas he is already with you yet doesn't know.

    Amongst the three options, I'd say I'd probably wouldn't date someone like this knowing beforehand. It's a great deal to handle, and I don't think I'm in the position to be there as best as I should be. If I dated a girl and she told me, I'd absolutely stay loyal, which would be regardless of situation, like normal.

    It'd certainly be tough on both parties. But there are most definitely those out there who genuinely would stick by your side no matter what, especially if they're already invested so much into the relationship.

  • I still would, and I'd make their last few years as much fun as possible.

    Don't lose hope, though. They told my aunt she wouldn't live long enough to have children. She had 6 kids, and was in her 70s, when she finally died.

  • If I was dating someone and we find out that she doesn't have long to live, I'd make her last few years the best she could ever hope for. I'd fall into a deep depression when she does die.

  • Personally, I wouldn't be able to. My best friend had cancer and it was tough to make sure I was there for him, one of the hardest things was coming to terms with the fact that I faced the very real possibility of going to his funeral, and I still don't know if I could do it. I'm glad that I made sure to stay his friend and be there for him, and now we are closer than I am with some of my family members, but to be completely honest I could never do that again. If I was dating someone before they were diagnosed, than I would stay with them, but I couldn't knowingly enter a relationship with a terminally ill patient, I would die inside if they were to pass.


What Girls Said 2

  • i definitely would and id have a lot of respect for his courage... id make every moment count-unless that was too exhausting for him ;)

  • In all honesty I couldn't take the stress off it. So no I wouldn't.

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