I am shy, timid, and insecure. Do I drive men away?

I don't think I am pretty even though people say I am. I am not as sexually experienced. I usually wait 3 or 4 months to have sex after committment. I usually put my bfs before me wanting to please and take care of them. But I am picky with men. I like nice guys.

most guys know I am insecure. I don't look for male attention... I just keep to myself. I don't care to have guys chasing me. I just like pleasing my guy. I usually call only every few days and if I don't get a reply back I leave them alone.

I like it when my bfs have "guy time" cuz I know it makes them happy and I really care and want them to be happy. I don't complain about it. I usually tell them its ok for them not to call when with the guys cause I don't want to interrupt. I don't get jealous when they look at playboy/porn... I think its normal. However I don't like being disrespected by them flirting with another girl while with me. I walk away if that happens.

I am also shy but I don't fall for most guys games. I turn a lot of guys down cuz I know they only want one thing. Is my shyness and insecurity scaring good guys away?


Most Helpful Guy

  • oh dear god i just found my female doppelganger... most guys are attracted to confidence... i myself think shy is so damn sexy... im 27 and I've been in 2 relationships but i have learned so much form just 2... both were real relationships in which i gave my all and reassessed myself afterwards so i got more insight form them 2 relationships than what most people get in 10... but I've noticed dating is all about testing the waters and seeing what works best... and its a 2 way street both side must like the arrangement or it won't last... i will say this... do not become a walking mat... when ure nice u want to forgive anything and everything u can and consider their feelings in everything... u are willing to put them first at all times... u have to come first sometimes and sometimes it should be all about u and u should get all the attention... in my opinion the perfect relationship is 1 where the other partner thinks ONLY of their SO (significant other)... sadly its very hard to find people like that because while many nice people are like that they dont stay that way because of constant relationships hurting them... i myself am a little tired of the bullshit


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • How is turning guys down because they want one thing shy? You sound very much in charge of yourself, like you know what you want. If you think any of your traits are negative work on them, that's what I am doing now and it feels really good. Also your name says sweet&sassy so I take it you're not completely shy.

  • I don't see anything wrong with you. You seem to know what you want and you also know how to walk away when it's not what you want. That's not insecure, that's knowing yourself.

    As for the shyness part, that can be a problem. This is coming from a shy girl. From my experience it takes me a while to open up to someone and most people aren't willing to give you that time to open up beifre they move on. But I've also been with my bf for 2 years and he's put up with my shyness around him and other people. So there's hope for us shy people

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