First college crush. I'm inexperienced, guy is experienced. Three years older than me. No idea what I'm doing. Help, please?

Um okay I had no idea where to put this. It's a combination of dating and flirting, I guess.

Anyway, I'll just call him R. So I really didn't expect to end up like anyone when I graduated high school and went on to the local community college. Especially since I had a boyfriend at the time. The thing is, though, said boyfriend (on-and-off for a year) didn't want to be with me, despite his love for me. So eventually I gave up trying to convince him and broke it off recently. It was a long time coming, and I think I've been in the process of getting over him for awhile. Long story short, he didn't want to love me. And I stopped trying to force it. Since I was a little girl (I'm nineteen now), I've wanted someone to love me immensely and be willing to fight to be with me. He was fighting to NOT being with me.

Anyway, so yeah, I gave up, and I guess I started liking R before it ended, which was part of the reason I ended it in the first place. So R is this really sweet, funny, chill guy who I'm really attracted to. He does things for me without me asking or hinting I need help, and is just generally really sweet. He's in two of my college classes, and we're working on a project together for one of them. We will be for the remainder of the semester. I like him a lot. My previous boyfriend was the same age as R (twenty-one) but he had no relationship experience whatsoever. R, on the other hand, has openly said he's dated lots of girls, and said "what're you talking about? Vaginas are great!" when our friends were joking about how gross they are. I took that to mean he's dealt with plenty (accurate assumption?). I have a little sexual experience, but I'm definitely a virgin. I want to subtly flirt with him but I don't know how to do it so that I can deny I was if he calls me out and implies he's not interested. And even if we do start going out, I'm moving to California next year, and I'm nervous that I might not satisfy him, as it were. What should I do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you are inferring too much from his statement. Most males are too dense to recognize subtly flirts (even flamboyant flirting), so I think your plan is flawed. Flirting is just fun, it doesn't have to mean anything. If you do anything subtle, you run the risk of he not recognizing it and having to decode your actions just like your decoding his. I suggest coming out of the closet. BTW, long distance relationship requires HUGE amount of commitment, trust and money.

  • if you're attracted to him, then tell him. whats the worse that could happen?

    • Well, if he rejected me, it could make for a very awkward rest of the semester and make working on our project together essentially impossible.

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