Why doesn't my boyfriend like doing things with me?

My boyfriend's birthday is next month and he's always saying how he would like to go to the casino or take a road trip or go out of town. Well, I asked if he wanted to go to New Orleans because he has never been. I also asked if he wanted to go to Biloxi to go gambling. He won't give me a definite answer. Then, he'll say I want to hang out with my buddies and drink. But, the next day he'll tell me they're too broke or busy or some other excuse. What's so wrong about going on vacation or spending time with me?
My birthday is in December, and even though I asked him 4 months in advance, he probably still won't go with me. He's had plenty of time to request off work, save up and go. But, I can't even plan anything with him because he won't give me an answer and I'm scared if he says yes he'll back out at the last minute. I don't want to book a hotel this early because I'd lose my deposit or something. Any thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There are some people who want to sit back and relax and don't want to trouble themselves with new things. They will generally like to do what they like. Only when they get too much interested then only they will go for it otherwise they will just like to delay things and then see how it goes.
    They will have superb energy in what they do and they maybe good in it but will try new things only when they are comfortable.
    Don't book tickets now. Plan to go somewhere for a day out, see how much comfortable he is and what are his reaction. based upon that you can decide


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think you should take some time to consider how happy you are in this relationship, since both people should love enjoying time spent together. Why be with someone who doesn't want to be with you.

    Have you been through any arguments lately? Is he having a tough stretch at work/life? There might be something that's preventing him from being upfront, but it just sounds like he doesn't want to go.

    • We haven't been arguing. I spend time with him at his place, but he hates coming to my apartment and it's so much nicer than his. I think he's just comfortable and hates leaving his comfort zone. He is having money problems, but I offered to take him to New Orleans for his birthday. I have a friend who would let us stay with her, I'd drive. He'd only have to pay for food and a few fun things which shouldn't exceed $100. He works 2 jobs.

    • Yeah I also thought that he could just be a bit of a homebody. Money problems could definitely be the issue too, it'd be understandable to be hesitant with trips when you're having a rough time financially.

      So there you go, couple explanations you thought of yourself. Maybe just try talking to him about the trips in a way that's saying he needs some time to relax!

    • Thank you

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