Did I Hurt Her Feelings? Was She Trying To Hurt Mine?

I've been thinking about what happened last night and over the past couple of days and I can't get it out of my head.

-I met this girl on Tinder 2 months ago, and we have been talking everyday since then through various social media sites.

-About 2 weeks ago, she expressed how much she liked me and wanted to meet me. She lives 75 miles away from me, and it is a 1.5 hour drive! She said that we can meet halfway in the city and hangout for a bit.

-I declined, because my car has trouble with long distances (I don't have money right now) and I am not used to city driving since I am from the country. And I told her I was still figuring out my feelings for her.

-She seemed to understand, so we kept talking everyday... but she would hint that she wished she could meet me.

-Recently, she went out of town to hang out with some friends. I didn't talk to her for 3 days when she was out of town... and that's when I suddenly realized I liked her and missed her.

-When she came back, she stopped messaging me first. Gave me smart-ass or single answer replies and seemed totally uninterested. She eventually told me she has been talking to another guy, BUT still wants to be my friend.

-After she told me that, I didn't talk to her for a day. Tried talking to her last night on SnapChat. She didn't reply for sometime (which is strange for her).

-Instead of replying to me directly, she made a SnapChat update. It was of her smiling with another guy and they were sitting on the couch.

-I was devastated, so I sent her one final message... telling her I understood, wished her a good life and deleted her from my life :(.

Did I hurt her feelings without realizing it? And was she trying to get back at me?

And... can women really lose interest that fast? Before she went on the trip we were talking normally... after she just seemed totally indifferent.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like she was trying to make you jealous? Did it work? If the answer is yes.. She got you back good unfortunately.. women can lose interest quite quickly.. But i think she still likes you regardless, sending her that "you understood and wished her luck in life" you shouldn't of said that, you should of just left it till she got back to you..

    • Thanks for your opinion. And yes... it got me jealous. I left her that final message, because I was trying to be the bigger man and walk away :(. She told me she wanted to be friends when she mentioned the guy... but then she kinda blew me off when messaging her and then... that picture...

      Do you think that it's too late to fix it?

    • Yes that was quite silly of her..
      well hmm i reckon you can fix it but consider that you guys are 1.5 hours away from each other.. And that you said she is deleted from your life now.. To be frank, she sounds a bit childish

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Oh babe, she's trying to make you jealous. I think she probably felt a little rejected by you.

    It's petty. Just move on, love.

    • I feel so bad if I hurt her feelings first :(. Based on everything I told you, do you think there is a way to fix it? What if I created a new snapchat account and try to reach out to her again?

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    • Typically, I would just move on. This is a tough situation for me. That's why I used Tiinder to try and meet women. In real life... I have been told that I am good-looking and a very sharp dresser. Despite this, my game with the ladies... it's just not good. Same thing with online dating, unfortunately.

      But... then I met her, we talked and we really connected. I haven't connected with a girl since 11th grade in high school (I am now 23)... so it was a fun and new experience for me again.

      She laughed at all my jokes. Really understood me. Similar viewpoints. Talked for hours... and just seemed really interested.

    • Dude... Some people fake that. I'm dead serious. You think it's real, until you actually look back on all your interactions with that person.

      Do yourself a favour, google "narcissistic personality disorder stages". Not saying she had that, but it's real easy for certain types of people to fake interest and affection, in order to garner some attention... Just saying :/

  • You did the right thing. She isn't worth your time. Just move on. I don't think you hurt her much or that she even intentionally tried to hurt you. I think it was something like she wasn't that interested. I don't know

    • I think she lost interest after you didn't want to meet but if she lost interest that quickly she couldn't have been THAT interested to begin with

  • no they don't lose interest that fast but what they do do is learn avoid you until they lose interest. so the behavior of cutting you off can happen fast but the underlying feelings are still there for you.

    • Well... I'm not sure what to do. I got really sad after that and just pretty much x'd her out of my life. I've been thinking about it all day. Like I said... I was trying to figure out my feelings for her... and I had it figured out when she came back :/... but... yeah... I feel like I blew it.

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    • That's great! The door is open for you. I hope it goes well!!

    • Lol... was open. Ended up getting her number and we talked a little. Unfortunately... she is moving away she said at the end of October... and she called that guy her BF. So... yeah... I guess she is moving to be with him.

What Guys Said 1

  • yes they can. online anything can happen. i got recently blocked even after months of. conversations (video chat everything) i am guessing because i got too attached and clingy or what. luckily for me i met someone real. i was still shocked though. there wasn't even a warning just BAM! Rejected.

    • The thing is, some people are just jerks. Plain and simple. But, you have to be happy when someone like that is out of your life. It's a win/win situation and you're with someone you really like, too! :3

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    • i feel your pain man. simple rule for the next time. for you and myself, simply don't get attached. there are sheisters and honeypots out there who crave attention and leave u in the dirt for fun. i call them emotional vampires. they feed on ure affection to feel better about themselves. once they got u where they want they chopp u down like firewood.

    • 'Cause she got attention from someone else, so she ditched you, sounds about right. She never really valued you from the beginning, tbh.