He told me he would call on a specific date and didn't, why?

I am pretty realistic when it comes to realizing that men rarely call exactly when they say they will, but this guy has me a little off kilter. I met him at a bar and we were having a great time- good conversation, dancing, laughs etc. I gave him my number, we kind of messed around, but didn't go "all the way" and at the end of the night he asked what I was doing Monday (it was Saturday at the time) and told me he would call me. He didn't which didn't entirely surprise me, but still: is it more likely that if a guy says he will call you on a specific day after asking if you had plans that he will call (at least eventually) than he would if he just said "I'll call you"? I know women at bars tend to be more of conquest material than girlfriend material and blah blah blah but is there really all that pressure for a man to say he will call when the girl isn't remotely pushy about it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Is there pressure? Somewhat. Your mind is still reeling from the experience so you don't want to perhaps ruin a good thing so you tell them that you'll call. Then as you digest the situation a bit further you start to wonder and wonder turns into stalling, etc.

    Bottom line, he may still call you or he may just have told you what he thought you wanted to hear. Time will tell but, yes, sometimes we feel the pressure to say the right thing to let them down easy but I've learned a while ago, at least for myself, that is was more of a selfish act so that I didn't have to feel bad as my intentions were good - I planned to call but never got around to it because of work, family, the weather, you name it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • It could be he's just doing a trick in hope you desire him more. Or he's just another guy who likes to give empty promises, even small ones


What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe he just wanted one thing, you did not give it to him, so why call. Then again if you did give it to him there would also be no reason to call, because he would have already have gotten what he wanted.

    Bottom line guys who meet girls in bars and "fool around" with them hardly ever call, maybe it's a confidence thing, or maybe he just wanted an ego boost at the time, maybe it's a conquest thing (getting the #) I don't know why that is, maybe although you were a nice distraction, he has a wife/gf at home and will never call. Who knows, and guys think girls are complicated lol.

    Guys tell you what they think you want to hear so they can leave on a high note, whether or not they mean it well. Some do and obviously some do not. Good luck with that one

    • You've got good grasp on the subject there. Sometimes I just think it's the nice thing to do is to get the number and vanish (drunken rationality). Don't trust bar guys.