How can I let him know I want more without freaking him out?

this is the second time we're seeing each other, as before he wasn't ready to commit, thought it was basically impossible for him because he had just gotten out of such a long term relationship/I'm pretty sure he wasn't over her. I ended it, now he's back in my life (after trying significantly) but we've only seen each other a few times so far. the time we spend together is great and he is really attentive, kind, fun and talks about liking me, calls me "beautiful" instead of "hot.", but he's really busy and I don't hear from him very often. I want to ask him for more time and more commitment this time, but I don't want to make him think I'm needy because the last time he thought I acted codependent.

  • if he's back he's probably into it but wants to take it slow
    Vote A
  • he probably only wants what is convenient for him
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I don't want to ruin things because they're going well, but I'm scared of sounding needy
guys, how would you want to talk about this kind of topic with a girl you're seeing?


Most Helpful Girl

  • figure out what you want let him know. if you want different things move on. you already left him once for a reason. you dont want to bio down the same route.

    really sit down seriously figure out what you want and how long you're willing to wait.

    instead of guessing and trying not to freak him out when use no way of knowing what accomplishes thAt.

    anyhow you should worry about your life not hide. figure out what you want instead of worrying about how hell react. right now you're in a rather oppressive situation. you can't even communicate honestly bc you're worried hell freak out.

    you ought to be able to voice how you feel freely. if he wants it or doesn't thats separate but freedom of speech you know.

    courage... keep it real.

    • well I am asking how it sounds because yes I am scared, I wanted some outside opinions on how he sounds about it, about coming back into my life, telling me he likes me, all that stuff, whether or not he sounds like he wants more this time. I don't want to sit him down and have some intense talk though I feel like that's going to make him think I'm giving him some kind of severe ultimatum..

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Eh this is kinda hard to give an opinion on. Um from the sounds of it he is kinda using you for the attention. Getting out of a long term relationship the feelings don't just dissapear. But what i'm getting from you said id say as i voted B.

    • right but he actually specified this time that he was done with that relationship, he didn't do that before, before he admit to still having feelings for her

    • oh and by the way I broke it off with him 10 months ago, he called me a bunch during the summer until i decided to respond. things ended with us back in december.

What Girls Said 1

  • What are you guys? dating? Just hanging out?

    • well that's it, I don't really know... it's definitely more than friends

    • Show All
    • With him


    • well does it sound like he's ready for that conversation? that's what I'm scared of