I Think I Lost Her Forever?

I've always had this perfect vision of my dream girl.

-She would be in shape and would love going to the gym with me.

-She would be college educated, like me.

-She would also have no kids... because she wants to wait to start her family with the right guy.

Since I suck at talking to women and dating in general... I tried online dating, more specifically, Tinder.

I met and started talking to this girl for 2 months. We eventually started talking on SnapChat. Things were going well, we have great conversation, we could make each other laugh and the sexual feelings were there and we admitted that. Unfortunately, I learned, she had a kid from a previous marriage (she just turned 25), she is slightly on the big side (but very cute face), and she dropped out of college.

She kept asking to meet me and if we could exchange numbers and talk... but I kept hesitating. I really liked her... but I had to figure things out before I proceeded to the next step.

Just recently, when I figured I could put my vision the of the perfect girl behind me, I got on snapchat to ask for her number and talk to her. She didn't reply for 40 minutes. When she finally did, she just showed me a snap of her smiling with another guy. A few days before that... she was talking to me a lot less, too.

I deleted my snapchat because I was sad. I just got it last night again (new account) to talk to her... but I don't think she saw my friend request at all :(.

Did I dodge a bullet by not going out with her?

Did I wait to long to make up my mind?

What should I do now?


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you guys were talking for 2 months there's no reason why you shouldn't have met in person yet unless you live hundreds of miles away from each other. You waited too long. She may not have been the perfect girl in your head, but you liked her enough to continue talking to her even after you learned she had a child, is chubby and not in school. You guys could have been great friends or eventually maybe she would have lost the weight, got back in school and you would have got used to the kid and had a beautiful relationship. Or you could have hit it a few times and got pussy whipped.

    You did all that hesitating for nothing. She wanted to meet up and exchange numbers and you hesitated like she asked you to get married. Thats on you, you waited to long. Next time strike while the iron is hot and take it to the next step quickly.

    She probably sent you the picture of the guy because she felt like you were wasting her time. It seems like she wanted to show you "this could have been you but you were playing". I mean she does sound immature, but you kinda do to with this perfect girl fantasy. People still have those?

    • There was a reason I didn't meet up, and I explained to her already:

      -We live 80 miles apart.

      -Hour and a half drive to meet each other.

      -I only drive locally (to my job, to the store, to places around my area), because my car breaks down a lot. I just got back from putting it in the shop 5 minutes ago. It would take me a few tries to start it -_-.

      -I cannot get a car until all of my students loans are paid off, which will take me 6 months.

      I explained all of this to her as well.

    • Damn.. well it sounds like it just wasn't meant to be with her. Those are all situations beyond your control so if she couldnt just be cool with you then oh well its her loss

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • Forget her. You definitely dodged a bullet. As if she snap chatted you with another guy in the photo? That's rude and pathetic. Everything happens for a reason and everything is either a blessing or a lesson, and this time it was a lesson. What you should do now is to keep trying to find your perfect girl because she's out there!

  • Forget about her. First of all - you didn't know her that long - she might have bad qualities you don't know about - and if she got into a relationship that quickly - who knows how many guys she's had before you or how many guys she will have after you. Forget this girl and start looking for your dream girl again.

    • So, you don't think my standards are too high?

    • If you meet your own standards than they are not too high. If you don't then they are.

    • I suppose you're right. It's just annoying. Whenever I try to meet women, they hate me immediately. When women meet me (it's always single moms, women with a trouble past or women with no college training, or bigger women)... those are the women that want me and it is easier for me to talk to these women. I just don't understand it.

      And... to be honest, she is the first girl to actually give me the time of day in 3 years... so it really meant a lot to me.

  • this part you said "She kept asking to meet me and if we could exchange numbers and talk... but I kept hesitating. I really liked her... but I had to figure things out before I proceeded to the next step." that was your gut instinct kicking in. You did probably did the right thing and got out just in time. Or perhaps If I knew exactly why you hesitated to meet her, then I can give you a more solid answer.

    • I hesitated to meet her due to distance (80 miles) and car trouble. It would have been a 1.5 hour drive... but my car isn't geared for that kind of drive right now. In 6 months or so I am getting a new car though, once all of my school loans are paid.

    • Show All
    • you patched things up? And you're okay with that?

    • Yeah... I suppose. Lol. Since she's in a relationship now... after reuniting with this guy for a few days... might I add... she doesn't really talk to me any more. So.. yeah, I guess I am happy we patched things up. Nothing more I can really do beyond that.

  • You dodged a bullet. It isn't someone you really wanted anyway, and you only know her from tinder/snapchat. So I would forget about it and move on to something different

  • You dodged a Bullet...

    • Just focus on you, the right one will come along when you least expect it..

What Guys Said 2

  • Aisha man. Though I do think you dodged a bullet. She was gear in some respects, but didn't meet most of the requirements you mentioned. In the gear of the moment it is easy to settle. Luckily you didn't. Your girl is out there. :)

  • You dodged a bullet. Only a bitch would send a guy a picture of herself and another guy smiling as a way of rejecting him

    • The only reason why I was even considering her is because we had good chemistry, we had so much to talk about, and we had very similar interest. She also knew how to cook and she really loved her child. That's why I was willing to put my requirements behind me.

      I did like her, but... I always notice a trend in my life: It's always big women, women with children, or women with a lot of drama that seem very attracted to me.

      I don't portray that I am that kind of person either. I have a job, an education, I work out a lot and have no drama in my life. I don't know why I attract these kind of women...