What do you do when your friends don't like your boyfriend?

It's become pretty apparent lately my friends and roommates don't like my boyfriend. They go from asking real strange questions about him, to joking about things he's done. They never seem genuine, more like "asking with an intention to hurt." Lately, it seems they are uninviting us to things when they know he's coming.
From their body language to questions, I can tell they are searching for gossip. I can tell they are searching for some nugget of information to ridicule him.

I love him very much, he is weird and interesting like me. However, I keep my eccentricities on the down low where he displays them for the world to see. He thinks people who accept him are worthy friends. I believe you should keep your, for all intensive purposes, "eccentricities" locked up until you trust the person. I don't think a majority of people understand him, this makes for some awkward explaining to do most times.
Example: He decided to wear make-up for a dinner party at a nice restaurant. My macho masculine friends call into question his "masculinity" and my "femininity" for being attracted to someone who isn't textbook definition "masculine." This has caused some bizarre questions about what he wears on a daily basis to ribbing about his "feminine" tendencies. I love him and support him, but the judgment is really starting to get to me.

Question is: What do I do about this? Are these not very good friends? How do I continue to support him without having the pressure get to me?

Your thoughts are much appreciated.

As an aside: He is the sweetest most loving person in the world. He treats me right and makes my life so much more interesting.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand your issue. I tend to think I am a little different myself, and I try to keep my most odd tendencies to myself until I am comfortable around a person.
    It seems your friends are not very understanding or even capable of accepting that which is different, in this case your boyfriend.
    But at the same time, they are more or less brain washed and lead to believe what is 'normal' in society, so they can't completely help it, but they aren't trying to understand that there are people who don't follow the same pathway.
    If I met him, I may be surprised by what he does, wonder why he does it, but I'd probably be like "hey he's cool, what does it matter?" There may even be times when I'd still be wondering why on earth he does things but I'd accept him.
    People tend to surround themselves with like minded people, meaning those who are similar to yourself. But even they can have a limit to how much 'uniqueness' they can take, as it were. My friends certainly do, but I still wonder why they do some of the things they do, but I accept them all the same. Or try to, until it annoys me too much.
    But your friends evidently can't accept that people are different, and want to get at him for it, which is sad. Leave them and the clones to their normality. It's not so much fun anyway!
    So long as he treats you right, it shouldn't matter what others think!


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What Guys Said 1

  • "He thinks people who accept him are worthy friends."

    He's absolutely right, where as your friends seem very shallow. If they don't like him, and you do, then they're the problem, not you. With friends like that, who needs enemies?


What Girls Said 2

  • It does not sound like you're even able to be you in front of your "friends." My friends are important for me choosing a partner, but that's because they are loving, generous, open, accepting, kind people.

    This guy sounds like a keeper. Your friends do not sound like keepers. They sound like people who will drop you like a hot potato the moment you show yourself (or "eccentricities" as you're calling them) to the world.

    Love feels good. Side with love. Follow what feels good.

  • For one its not what your friends like if u like him keep him when things like this haapen they either don't want y'all together or typically one of them like him..

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