How do I end my trend of getting into 2-3 weeks relationships?

I keep getting into these very short term 2-3 week relationships. I meet a guy (usually online or at a bar) and then I go on a few dates with them. I feel bad, but either the guy flakes out after 1-2 dates or I figure out things that I think are incompatible with a guy and I finish it.

I'm not trying to be mean AT ALL. I am almost 25 and I want to date people seriously. I keep meeting guys and after a couple weeks of dating (say 2-5 dates) I feel like I'm able to pick out areas of my values where we wouldn't be compatible. I feel bad. One guy told me he was in love with me after 2 weeks (5 dates). I told him I still wanted to create a friendship and I didn't want to move so fast. He said that was fine, but then still kept pushing the I love you kind of stuff. I ended up really breaking his heart and I feel bad.

Yanno that little inkling feeling that something just isn't going to work out? I don't know if I should ignore it or listen to it. When I ignore it, relationships last longer and then boys get more hurt. When I listen to it, I risk losing good guys!

What can I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You are being way to picky, you may also have your priorities messed up that can lead to being overly picky.

    EVERYONE!!! you ever date will have all kinds of flaws, differing opinions and so on that are not 100% compatible with you, having a happy relationship is about finding someone you can trust who will work with you to make your relationship a good one. Perhaps try to see some of the things different about them as areas in life that you can learn from them and their experiences.

    • Maybe. I don't know. I feel like it's important to pick people who are similar to your own values. I recently dated a guy who wants to live in a condo forever and who is opposed to having children because it overpopulates the planet. He was also an atheist... those are all things I don't want or don't agree with.

    • That guy for sure does not sound like a good match, I agree with you on values being important and life goals as well, I wasn't sure what criteria you were rejecting guys on, somethings are really stupid reasons and some are very valid ones. Things like children, personal values and so on are very important but it's also ok to not be a 100% match as long as you two can negotiate.

    • oh yeah, this is the kind of stuff I'm referring to. Not like... idk, favorite bands or hobbies or anything.

What Girls Said 1

  • Stop being scared and picky etc,.. guys can tell when a girl is picky... stop jumping into things so fast... get to know these guys before deciding if their gonna be good or not... 2 or 3 weeks isn't long enough to get ti know someone... stop thinking negative about the guys for no reason... or you'll be alone forever... you gotta learn to chill out

    • Hmmm interesting point. I just think if my values don't match with someone's then I shouldn't bother trying to continue... right?

    • No all the way true... it seems like your trying to find a perfect guy.. but im sorry to say.. no ones perfect and everyones different... and has different values opinions. .. datimg comes with compromising and learning to accept others views and values because you like them

    • yeah, but isn't it bad if I don't feel any spark after a couple dates?