Does each sex project their dating desires on to the other sex, and think they want the same things?

So do you think each sex has a habit of projecting their own desires onto the other sex, and assuming they want the same thing?

For instance, the "nice guy" cliche. A LOT of guys assume that being kind and sweet to a girl is very attractive. Do they assume this because a lot of guys would be more attracted to a girl who is sweet to him? Or is it just media-social-family programming/bad assumption? So a lot of guys go through a bitter awakening when they see that there are tons of gorgeous girls who are devoted to men who don't really treat them nicely or seem to care that much.

Or another instance... women. Women, dare I say, judge men on a variety of things. Your looks, your fitness, strength, education, charisma, confidence, wit, money. Do they not? Therefore, do women falsely assume that men care much about the same? Such as, how many times have you seen an article/heard a woman lament about how she has a degree, her own house, a career, has traveled, yet men her age just want to date women younger and hotter than her? Another example, a recent Huffpost article about a woman who couldn't get online dates... and she looks perhaps 40 pounds overweight, yet she no where considers that might be hurting her. Is it because women are often forgiving of extra weight on a man (I've seen fat friends/coworkers with hot women) so they discard the idea that being fat hurts their chances with men?

So what do you think? Does each sex, to a certain degree, mistakenly assume the other sex wants the same things in a partner?

  • Yes, each sex often projects their desires and assumes the other sex wants the same traits in a mate.
    Vote A
  • No, there is no projecting or assumption.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. I have to remind myself of that sometimes. Especially when a man's interested in me, a good guy, but graduated college, has a great job, has his life in order, etc. and I feel like... um why does he want to date me again? I can't really see us as equals right now; I'm not there yet. Shouldn't he be with someone who's more stable, rather than a girl still figuring it out? That's what runs through my head, but they don't seem to care about that much.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah, you're probably right. It's definitely true of women when they talk about things like degrees, careers and whatnot. And especially I think when they ask whether men find them intimidating because they're smart. As for men, it's what we're taught on TV and from people around us mostly I think.

  • yes. thanks to feminism which has taught generations of people now that men and womena re just the same and gender is a social construct

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