Always jokes and is never serious? How do I approach him about this?

I like this guy, but he always jokes.. I mean, he responds with a joke, he makes a joke of whatever he's talking about... I just wonder if he can ever be serious and have a real conversation. Everything is always silly banter/flirting back and forth, but we hardly seem to have a real conversation... something in depth, something real, the things that matter when that honeymoon phase feeling ends. What do I do? Or is that just his personality?


Most Helpful Guy

  • For some reason, when I started to read this question/title, it reminded of "The Clown" in:

    Wow, that's a long url, anyways, he could have a joking personality, but if he never turns it off, it could be a game.

    • hmmm what do you mean it could be a game? You're right I think... if I get what you're saying. I don't know. I just don't feel emotionally connected to him. It's early. We've been on two dates, but everything is a joke.. texts are joking, conversations are joking. Then when I say something serious over text he even adds winky face signs. He said it's just reflex to put them and that he's just an awkward guy... but meehh

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    • Well, what I meant by a "game" is a ploy to avoid true self-actualization and communication. Honestly, I just started reading the book. Maybe he is uncomfortable with being serious. Personally, I don't like serious atmospheres. I'd rather joke around a subject if it meant I was avoiding a girl that wanted a serious relationship when I was perfectly fine with the way things were at the moment with just being friends.

    • Ah. I'm pretty sure he wants to be serious. He alluded to some body image issues I think... or something once. Some kind of issues. I forget! ah. so bad. I don't know. He's always just so happy and cheery. It's almost annoying... how can someone be that happy allll the time?

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What Guys Said 1

  • Say "be serious for a minute" and then state a question. Or say that you have to ask him a serious question and it is important. Then he'll usually snap out of his joking mood and be real for a little bit. If he doesn't listen to you, then he's too immature for anything and you will waste a lot of your time on him

    • Ah, gotcha. I know he'd be serious if I asked him to. I just hate that I have to ask him all the time.

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