Should I pursue a relationship with a younger guy while I'm a high school senior?

I'm 17, gonna be 18 in January, and he's just turned 16 this week. We met when I asked my music teacher if she knew anyone that could be my accompanist for an upcoming gig, and she said that he's the guy for the job. We hit it off nearly instantly. We both seek out any excuse to see each other, we talk on Skype any chance we get and when we can't even do that, we text or Facebook chat. We're basically inseparable at this point, and it's been less than a month since I've met him. Yesterday, when he saw me off at the train station after I came over to his place (and it's quite a journey from my town to his - I have to take one train to the city where our school is situated, and then another one back home, it takes about 1.5h in all), he told me that I "had no idea how glad he was to have found me" after I gave him a quick peck on the cheek (childish, I know) and I have to say, I return this sentiment. I really want to get together with him, but here are the two things that bother me:
1. The age difference, obviously. We may have quite a bit of mutual understanding, but dating is a whole new level to reach. I don't know if I should expect him to handle that.
2. I'm taking my finals this May, he will take his in 2017. After that I will either go study in Warsaw (which is, what, 200 miles away? Not exactly convenient for regular visits) or become an au pair in another country, possibly the UK or even the US. None of these scenarios make it any easier on us.

What do y'all think?

  • Just do it! ... Nike
    Vote A
  • You might wanna wait until he's older
    Vote B
  • BLERGH. Cradle robber
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Oh, and if you would please, please, pleaase be so kind as to post an actual answer apart from voting in the poll.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Go for it. I really don't see how that age gap could be a problem for you two. As for the other reason - well, if you always do the reasonable thing, you'll miss out on a lot of happy, satisfying moments. You're such an ambitious and rational person and that's great. But you need to also make some decisions justfor the moment and have some fun. What's the point of living otherwise? :)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Don't do it. It has nothing to do with his age, while a couple years is a big deal as a teenager, an age gap that small will be nothing when your older.

    The reason you shouldn't do it is solely because you're about to graduate and move away, and jumping into any kind of commitment beforehand would be hurtful to one or both of you come next year. Don't just live in the moment like some people say, plan to do what is best for both of you. This is especially important in this case, because while he's the man, you're the older one and you may need to accept the responsibility of making the mature, less fun decision.

    If you step away now but stay friends, its possible that one day in the more distant future you may become reacquainted and you can rekindle what you started this year (assuming you're both single at the same time). I can almost promise you though, if you get romantically involved now and have to break up when you go long distance, you'll both enter college with scars on your hearts and there will be almost no possibility of coming back together even after college.

    • Yeah, that's exactly what I'm afraid of... I haven't always been as reasonable as I would like to in my head, but in my actions I am usually pragmatic, some might say too much so for my own good. I COULD technically study in the same city where my high school is, especially since I intend to study the law and my dad is a pretty well-established lawyer here, but I don't want to be a daddy's girl who has to rely on him all the time. Ugh, it's too complicated.

    • Show All
    • Technically, I could just study where I live now. My plan for the future is to become a sworn translator and doing some literary translating on the side (librettos, books, all the good stuff). Thus, the best course of action for me to take is to study both the law and a language, possibly Arabic, and the Arabic course in my hometown is the best in the country. However, should I choose any European language, like Spanish or French, I would need to head for the capital instead. Unsurprisingly, this guy is skewing my decision towards studying Arabic and law here... OK, I'm starting to answer my own question here. As for my family... they're tolerant to a fault, they just tell me to do what I think is right (with my dad obviously nudging me towards the law).

    • I see. If focusing on Arabic is something you're not opposed to, you could always date the guy for a year and then decide if you like him enough to put up with being a daddy's girl. That would be an honest route to take I believe, moreso than if you had been going into it feeling 100% you'd only be local for a year.

  • In my opinion, there's barely any age difference. If you guys really like each other, I'd say go for it. Better to get in there and see where it goes than to take distance and never finding out. You might regret the latter. If it doesn't work out when you put yourself out there, at least you know you did the very best you could.

  • I say go for it if you two have chemistry!


What Girls Said 2

  • Id say be friends for the time being. Your future career is more important than a new crush.

  • I would give it a try if I were you. I would worry less about future or social (age) barriers if I am really into him. One thing would worry me though, that he might distract from studying to my finals.

    • Possible, but I've never been too great a student anyway. That is, I'm of the "smart but lazy" variety. I mostly do my studying at school, where I give it my all, but at home I just chillax :D Though that may not be the greatest attitude for an IB student...

    • My advice is : Go for it, but try not to be attached to him.

Loading... ;