When you are not EXCLUSIVE (FWB) what are the rules and how do you end it?

When it comes to (FWB) what are the rules is going out on dates i. e movies, dinner included? because thats a part of dating to me. Is spending the night and cuddling included? He always wanted me to spend the night, once again this is something you do when you are dating someone. When you start seeing someone exclusively, do you let your friends with benefits know so they won't contact you in that way or do you just not say anything. Just experienced all of this it has me very confused. He sent me so many mixed signals. Opinions please


Most Helpful Girl

  • You use him to your heat's content and when u hade enough, you ditch him. Poof, just like that.
    That's the rule

    • Wow. I will never enter into one again. Using someone/getting used is not my thing

    • Good for you then

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What Guys Said 1

  • Every couple is different. Some people are capable of acting like bf/gf when they are together (kissing, spending the night, cuddling) and not getting feelings. Others need to ban that stuff, and only get together to bang, and not even hang out, or they'd get attached. Some are in between those extremes.

    FWB, even though it's an easy type of relationship to fall into, is really an ADVANCED type of relationship, and for it to be successful for any length of time, it requires discussion and negotiation. That means you have to be able to talk about it frankly with your partner and develop your own rules and expectations.

    You also need to realize that many people simply can't have a friends with benefits without getting attached. The ENTIRE PREMISE of a friends with benefits is that you are USING EACH OTHER for sex WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATIONS of it developing into a relationship. If you can't handle that, then you have no business being in a friends with benefits to begin with.

    It's amazing how many people are against that concept and still allow themselves to get into a FWB...

    • @MrOracleSo true I am one who is against that and I allowed myself to get into that knowing better and knowing I deserved so much better. We never really discussed what our expectations were or where if anywhere we wanted to go with this. All we said was that neither one of us was ready for a committed relationship. I think the cuddling, spending the night talking about our days going out here and there is where we went wrong. I developed feelings and he didn't. We should of just got to it, and went about our days but he always wanted me to spend the night. He is now in a committed relationship with. I told him we should of communicated better if you are now looking for or in a relationship let me know so I will not contact you out of respect. He said he didn't owe me anything or have to explain anything and that he liked me as a friend and wants to remain friends (non physical). Really!!! I will leave that to the heartless emotionless people, cuz I just ended up hurt.

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    • Yes, it's clear that the two of you had different goals from the beginning, and unfortunately you didn't communicate nearly enough at the start to discover that about each other. All you can do from here is learn from that and not make the same mistake again.

    • yup that is all I can do. Lesson learned moving forward.

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