Is this good advice? What do you think of my guy friend's advice?

So I'm dating this guy
And he replied, "thanks" in a text after I told him I don't care about my ex and I only want to be with him.
The guy I'm dating doesn't like it when I bring up my ex he thinks my ex is a loser

So my guy friend suggested that if I want the guy that I am dating now to chase me and be in a relationship with me, he says I should not text him back

And ignore every text message that says "hi" or "goodnight" for as long as it takes until he ask me if he did something wrong or something along those lines.

And my guy friend said reply that everything is cool if the guy I'm dating seems concerned.

He says that this made him chase after a girl because she said he was busy and he felt that if he didn't get into a relationship with her then he wouldn't hear from her again.

My guy friend says that if he talks to a lot of girls who say I want to be with you then he sees no reason why he would settle down with that girl



Most Helpful Guy

  • No, do not listen to your friend--that is really poor advice (he sounds really immature). Any guy with any level of self-respect is simply going to brush you off completely and move on to another women.

    And why are you trying to "get him to chase"? He's already dating you! Stop playing mind games, they will only sabotage your relationships. Mature people don't jockey for status--they're just valuable as they are.

    You want him to understand you have options? Then **have** options and don't call attention to it--it will show just because it's the truth. You only want to be with him? Telling him that comes off as insecurity (because it IS)--just enjoy being around him and stop putting pressure on it. He'll believe you want him because your actions confirm it.

    Don't try to project an image. Actually be the thing you want to be viewed as, which if you aren't already, means you have some self-improvement projects to work on.

    Hope that helps ;)

    • Telling him I only want to be with him comes off as insecure? How?
      And I did not tell him directly I have options. I don't know if you read my comments above but I told him that my ex wanted me because I told the guy I'm dating I love him and I did not want him to take me for granted

    • Typically, yes. And in this case, I would say yes, based upon the context of the other things you wrote. Why were you talking about your ex (no real need to ever do that)? Why did you feel the need to tell him you only want to be with him (you were afraid he would think you weren't over your ex, I assume)? Why do you feel the need to get him to chase? Why are you afraid he'll take you for granted? Use your past relationship against you?

      I'm not trying to paint you as desperate or anything, or even saying that you are feeling crazy insecure--I'm just pointing out the subtext of what you have presented. Maybe there are some feelings that you are overlooking or not addressing.

      What you wrote just seems to fall into the same pattern I've seen in other people, that's all. All of our relationships are unique--but we're all still human, and not THAT different from each other.

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What Guys Said 2

  • thats bad advice from your friend. if you did that to me i would assume the worst and simply move on. here is something, stop bringing up your ex. if the other guy really likes you, he is gonna hate hearing about your ex and then assume that you aren't over him, even if you are.

  • ignoring his texts and bringing up your ex is a quick way to get dumped. Just stop talking about your exes, its a really unattractive thing to do. this guy friend sounds like an idiot. And playing hard to get will make him chase you, not ignoring him. When a girl doesn't reply to my texts more than twice then I stop texting them all together.

    • I can't dump him we are dating not in a relationship

    • Show All
    • Also if you actually read my details you would learn that my friend gave me the advice not me which I HAVE NOT USED by the way

    • i know your friend gave you the advice, I'm just explaining how much of a bad idea it is lol

What Girls Said 1

  • babes, this is a game. If you want a legit relationship, you cannot be playing games. If you want your man to start chasing you, I don't know why, he shows attention and he still gets jealous (which are all good signs), then I don't know what to tell you. I suppose the best thing to do is focus on yourself. Put yourself first, school second, and him third. Prioritize your life and soon he will adjust. Do not ignore him, that's petty. However, don't let him get comfortable, and make sure he knows that you could walk out at any second, and that you always have options. but the only way to show that, is like I said, put things above him. Make him ask you for time. Make sure he sees that he does not have a 100% hold on you. And then he'll be banging down the door.