Am I judging his past or guarding my heart?

I went on my bf phone and found some perverted stuff. It happened right before we started dating. So its not considered cheating. But it bothers me because I never thought he would do stuff like that. Its just not who I thought he was. Am I judging his past or just realizing he wasn't the guy I thought he was?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay.

    Here's my opinion.

    People will generally tell you "the past is the past, it should stay there." But in my experience, people who say this are usually naive idiots. You should NEVER ignore any aspect of a human being, it all comprises and makes you who you are today. Now, a I saying you should let it DEFINE him? No. So, here's what I would do if I were you.

    Talk to him about it, gauge for YOURSELF what his answer means to you and how much impact is behind his words. Look him in the eye during his whole explanation. If you think he's being truthful, go with your head. If he's not, walk away.

    • Thats the thing I did confront him and his answer was "I was just playing around and seeing what I could get. But I am not playing with you" can you guy code translate that?

    • It means he posted those sexy pictures to see if girls would take the bait, and most likely gauge where he rates on the attractiveness scale when it comes to women. However, he claims he's willing to take you seriously.

      That's what his words translate into. Now, is there TRUTH to them? That is another story. I would say proceed, but go CAUTIOUSLY. Remember, genuine love is proved through ACTION, not convenient words. If he's going to show you he's serious, he needs to PROVE it, not just TALK it.

      You feel me?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Chances are if its still on his phone then its not really his past because he's kept it. Why has he kept it? He can't let it go so will he continue to do it? Again, the chances are that he will. If it disturbs u then walk away now because the more u fall for him the harder it will be and the more it will hurt if he does ever cheat on u etc.
    I agree with another answer that confronting him with it may help but you know he'll tell u its the past and he'd never do it but id be wary of that if were u. Hope it helped but only u can decide so good luck x

  • Well, if i had girlfriend , there are things that need change
    i have morals, respect and i wouldn't have perverted stuff
    on my phone so she could find it, this would be so disrespectful to her.

    • Exactly I had to ask him to delete it. When I confronted him he should have volunteered to delete it.

    • Yes i do agree with you :) perverted stuff is not proper when you
      are going in relationship with girl if your guy i tell you it's got to do
      with the maturity level

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