I told the guy I am dating about my dreams and he mocked me... Whats your take?

I tole the guy i have been dating about my dreams and goals...

I want to be a writer and have designed an outline how to achieve this goal. I also wish to be a stay at home mom while writing so i can take care of a family...

He laughed and told me to find him a job where he can stay at home and do nothing all day...

What do you think about this interaction?

Do you think being a writer and a speaker potentially isn't a good dream?
Is being a stay at home mother and wife an easy job or something?

Okay. I didn't just say I wanted a job where I could be a home maker. I explained the purpose and impact I wanted to make through my work. The concept on how to achieve that brand and presence.. I explained how it would bring in revenue and etc.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh geez, calm down. You said you wanted a job where you could also be a homemaker, and he said he wants to do that too! I'd take being a house husband too if it was possible, and miss out on the aggravation of commuting every day. The only other thing I'd read into what he said is that it's a nice dream but it will be hard if not impossible to make it a reality.

    Don't be so sensitive. What's next?
    YOU: How was dinner?
    HIM: Really good!
    YOU: Just 'really good'? Not the best ever? OMG OMG OMG I HAVE FEELINGS YOU KNOW!!! WAAAAAAAAH!
    Him: (fuck this, I'm going to Hooters)

    • ... He mocks me on a regular basis though. When you are excited about something that is meaningful towards your future and someone you care about tells you its stupid and mocks you, you wouldn't be upset? He mocks my goals then he mocks my faith... those two coincide thank you.

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    • That makes sense. i guess I was just really excited and thoughtful... It really just knocked my drive. I am sensitive I know I just wish he'd at least support me now through the potential thought process. I do have a professional just making just under what he makes and I have a secure plan b... Regardless though... Thank you for elaborating and finishing this conversation with me.

    • You're welcome. Thanks for explaining the whole thing. A dose of reality can be hard to take when it's your dream, but it can also help you in working out how to make it possible by knowing the risks and obstacles. Good luck with it!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • You left out the part where you punched him square in the face... cause you did right? RIGHT? NO ONE CAN TAKE YOU'RE DREAMS AND GOALS FROM YOU don't listen to the prick. Most people don't understand that being Freelance artists or writers is 1. hard 2. fucking hard 3. Just as rewarding as a mainstream office zombie job if you follow the right path and work hard to reach a high level. Fuck him and his dream killing attitude.

  • Its a good dream but a very small % of the population actually succeed in it. He was wrong to mock but he probably looks at life as hard and is more real about what we dream and Wagtail we actually achieve in life. There is nothing wrong with the dream and u should do all u can to make it work and he should support u, however, get an education that will give u a second or even third choice career. Good luck and don't be too hard on him, we'd all love a job like that and be at home but not many actually get it. X

    • The thing is that honestly I have the professional experience and background to pursue a career already if I wish too. I just want to work in ministry and help people. That is what my heart burns for. He just doesn't seem to understand that I guess... I don't see the point in attending school for five more years if I am just going to be unhappy... It would be smarter for me simply to network and start working towards my dreams.

      Thank you for your words...

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    • That is exactly the thought process I was sharing with him. How I was excited and what I was planning on doing, brand wise, mission wise and etc. I will talk to him a bit more about it and honestly, if he doesn't support me on my work ethic and desires then the relationship won't be an asset to me and perhaps I should let it go.

    • It would be a shame if u both have feelings for u but I have an amazing work ethic, I have always worked hard and sometimes long hours to achieve my goals and if a partner didn't support me then I'd just think they didn't love me as much as they might say they do. It should be a partnership/team and always there to support each other no matter what... good luck and I hope u can make him support u on this one because the benefits for u both would be or could be life changing

  • He was probably just joking. But who WOULDN'T want a job where they can stay at home all day. :)

    • I think it is just the fact I was looking for a conversation to discuss the purpose of the work and the decision that is ahead in 2015 whether to leave for school or not. The whole idea of being a stay at home mother and wife did not consume our conversation... It was more about the work I am excited to do and how to best achieve the end goal.

  • He was just playfully teasing u... don't take that statement so serious!


What Girls Said 7

  • He sounds like a douchebag. I hope you aren't planning on dating this moron. Becoming a writer and a mother is a great dream, BUT, i'm not sure how much money you can make like that. Writing isn't easy. Very few people actually make it. It might be a good idea to have a back up plan.

    • I have a back up plan right now. I just don't feel like settling for it because that isn't where my heart is (family business). I want to help people through my work and encourage them... I am dating him and now I feel like he really is a little insensitive. Definitely why it bothers me so much. I don't date people just for the hell of it... I date them because I see potential.

    • Glad you have a backup plan, and you're right, you shouldn't settle if you don't have to. He isn't insensitive, he's disrespectful and it seems like you two have a fundamental difference. You think being a stay-at-home mom is a worthy responsibility, he thinks it's being lazy and doing nothing. Do you really want to be with someone like that? You shouldn't date people because you see potential. That is really dumb. The whole point about potential is that it may be realized or it just may NEVER get realized. You should date people who are good and share your perspective NOW. Wanting people to change to fit your wants and needs is... ill-conceived. You will be sorely disappointed.

  • He is not the kind of guy that you need who doesn't support your dreams or your goals. He is one of those jokers who laughs in your face, thinks your ideas are far fetched because he doesn't have any Prospects or ambitions of his own in his own life. He just thinks you are dreaming your time and your life away with the "Impossible dream."
    I am a writer myself and I have never let anyone get in my way of accomplishing anything. I have been out there a few times with my works and proud to say I accomplished what I have loved and been good at all of my life... God gave you a gift, go for it...
    While you are doing something constructive with your dreams, do some serious soul searching about the Life support at your end who isn't That, but more like a hose that is sucking all of the life and joy out of you. With someone like this, "Writer's Block" will be here before you have even had a chance to begin your beguine.
    And with negative nellies who say this about "Staying home all day and doing nothing," they are the ones who usually end up following their own advice and are also the First to dip into your pockets and reap in the profits at the First chance they get, living off the Successful source.
    Good luck. xx

  • Nothing about life is easy. Nothing about reaching your dreams and goals are easy. And if he wants to be a douche about it, then he doesn't have true goals in life. Or he doesn't understand yet. I don't know how old he is but he seems a little immature. But your dreams and goals are very achievable! Do what you want with your life with who you want and make sure it's with the right people, who truly love you. :)

    • Thank you sweet. & he is a multiple business owner and design engineer. I think he just has his career and doesn't really understand my mind set right now. I just need to keep moving forward but I have to talk to him about it because if we aren't on the same page of uplifting eachother, we need to let go.

    • Definitely! Did he start those businesses or did his dad/family give it to him? Cause if not then he should understand what it feels like to have a dream and be successful. And he can't be a douche cause he got his before you.

    • Half and half. He was in the service for six years. He is 27.
      I understand though.

  • Seems a bit rude for sure. He's mocking your goals in his life. Talk to him about it. He won't know what he did is wrong if you don't tell him.

    • He does it quite often. I agree though, I definitely need to say something to him. The conversation was over the phone. I will speak up this weekend about it.

  • Gosh, he sounds like this guy I use to date. He mocked me about my goals and dreams, would always try to correct me , and explain things to me, as if I was slow and didn't know. Do you really want to be with someone who mocks you and makes you feel shitty? I'm saying to break it off just because of that. As someone else say, address this to him first and see how he reacts and if he attempts to change. You don't need any extra negativity. You need someone to support you.

    • Precisely what I am going to do. I just wanted to make sure I am not completely out of line prior too. I will talk to him this weekend.

      Thank you! I am glad you have moved on from negativity and are working towards your dreams...

    • Your welcome and thank you:) there's no reason to stick around and let it build it. Life is too short and trust me, its going to makes. I know you have some background/ experience but I'm sure you still realize how hard you have to work. And even if he doesn't agree with it, if he cared about you, it shouldn't stop him from supporting you. Cut you losses and you are definitely not being sensitive.

  • Seems like a normal reaction some times people who are the closest to you can hurt your feelings easy. If a stranger said that you could brush it off that person is not an influence. The best thing to do is prove that you can do it. But if that dream never happens would he throw it in your face? That's what would worry me.

  • I think you're being a bit sensitive.

    • Sensitive? He has a career already. I am deciding whether to leave for school for a few years or not and needed to talk to someone through the thought process and he told me straight up that is was a stupid plan. Of course I will be hurt when I have so much excitement running through me on how to best act on my life dreams and then someone I care about laughs at them and shuts down my ideas?

      That wouldn't offend you?

    • "Stupid" actually came out of his mouth? Or is that how he made you feel. I don't get offended by people not agreeing and laughing at my dreams. Someone is always going to disagree whether it's your parents, siblings, friends, or lover.

    • Of course we would prefer more supportive people, but the ones that doubt you should push you harder to achieve that goal.