How to tell if a guy isn't just an average player but that he's an expert player, and knows exactly what to do to play a girl out?

I met a guy that was cute, nice, funny, talkative, he texted me all the time, we had a good thing going. I really thought this guy was into me, then we did it because I thought he liked me and I liked him, and I got out of a long term relationship maybe 2 years ago which was a rough breakup so I didn't want a relationship, and slowly over the next month or so the guy showed me his true colors and vanished little by little until he completely stopped talking to me. I saw him out one night after not speaking for 3 weeks and he tried texting me like hey how are you? I was thinking... really buddy? go f^*k yourself

I must hand it to him he really had me fooled and looking hindsight it seems 20/20 like I should have picked up on some signs he gave.

I tried to chase him a little when he pulled away but he just ran faster, and realized after that I should have pulled away harder, I know what I did wrong at the end, but how do you know the suddle signs a guy might give off that he has his best interests the whole time.

What are some things that they might do or not do that should be red flags to stay the hell away and he's no good?

Usually I can pick up if he's trying to just sleep with me, but this time I was completely shocked and mad at myself for not catching a complete D*#k because usually I can


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What Guys Said 1

  • From an ex player, I have to laugh at the phrase "average player or expert player" I didn't know that it was measured lol. Many girls have the mentality that any guy that cold approaches them wants to sleep with them so don't flatter yourself by saying you can pick it up because a player already knows thats what you are thinking and will NOT approach you seeming that way. A player can usually tell what kind of person their mark is and will mold their personality to fit that mark before approaching and an "expert player" will probably have laid down some background work that can range anywhere from eye contact to a full on pre-rehearsed environment. @BabeBarlow91 I think that the "if its offered, take it" statement kind of applies to all guys. You are right about a lot of things but as a former player, I will tell you its all about the chase. Thats why above i used the word "mark"... the girl is just a target and he wants see if he can acquire/conquer it. once he does and he knows she is now all about him, target acquired/conquered, on to the next one.

    • This is so true its crazy! lol by "average" I mean someone who kind of gives it away that they want to sleep with you and you can pick up on it compared to an "expert" being someone who takes you by surprise, kind of my own take on it :)... I must say that when you said the guy would change his approach with the reaction and personality of the girl Its almost like you were there in my situation, and I guess that's why im even asking the question yea sometimes I can't even tell. I think you put it pretty straight forward that its about the chase and when the guy acquires the target time to start the next chase, but as you stated you are an ex player did anything break the cycle? was it finding the right girl or did you just get sick of it? Was there anything a girl could do that you weren't able to use your manipulative tactics on?

    • got bored. not to mention the maturity factor, or age factor, or experience factor, or biological clock :)
      I had proven to myself time and time again that I could acquire any "targets"... so I sought a new challenge.. can i KEEP a "target"... thats a life long challenge...
      you said "was there anything a girl can do that I couldn't use my manipulative tactics on?"
      the truth to that is... Yes, understand he will go against what you think at some point but you should forgive, its very rare though because girls are not the most understanding...
      I had a girl once that totally thought like a guy, she was girly on the outside but she understood guy mentality and how guys think and what they expect... threw me off guard completely... you can't be a player when there is no game... basically, I didn't ever think I would get into "trouble" with her and so there was nothing to "play". in return she got 100% honesty and 100% commitment... she moved later though.. so sad

What Girls Said 1

  • For me, it's usually along these lines. Everything is going too well - any concerns you have he is able to answer easily. They are prepared for every eventuality. He knows exactly what to say and makes you feel awesome. Any issues that come up he has an answer for it.

    Players will have the mindset that If it's offered take it. You don't know when the next opportunity will come around. They don't really do just because you can doesn't mean you have to.

    A player can change but you can't change the player.

    They don't commit as they might miss something else - the grass is greener.

    For me, a player is high energy and centre of attention and adventurous and fun loving. He needs to find a co-pilot in crime, not someone who wants to chain you and keep you inside. We are all gonna be not hot at some point in the future so you really need to be able to talk to someone. If you can't communicate then forget it.

    I've found that most players don't like to show their vulnerable side. It makes them look less able to cope.

    • having the right answers all the time and knowing the exact things to say to get you to trust them and then rip the carpet out from underneath your feet, is definitely the take home message here. If they have all the right answers its might be too good to be true thanks for the post

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