Recently I've been having fights with my bf but we didn't fully make up, or solve it, we just try to forget about it. We started dating 6 months ago but he seems to get offended when I don't agree with him... and this has happenes 4 times, 3 of them in the past month.
My friend said that fights would eventually happen. But when I asked a q here someone said that if we fight we're not meant to be together. What's your view and please tell me your experiences and how it was solved.
Most Helpful Girl
People seem to have this retarded notion that fighting in a relationship is normal.
It's not. Just because certain couples do it often, doesn't mean it's the norm - it means these people suck at being a couple: different opinions, lack of communication, attitude issues and so on.
Having a disagreement here and there is fine. You can fight with a friend too or you argue with your family members.
The key difference is how often. If you end up in +3 major fights per month, your relationship is shit. Sorry to break this to you, but if you argue so often, you two are clearly not compatible as people.
I can count on one hand how many fights me and my boyfriend have had over the last 3 years.
To avoid fighting BOTH people need to address the issue. If he gets easily offended, you can avoid fights by never questioning him about anything - but will that make you happy to never ever be able to speak your mind?
He needs to realise that the problem is with both of you and that way you can try discussing how to compromise in disagreeing situations.
If he chooses to blame everything on you and says only you need to change, I'm afraid your relationship is indeed doomed.
I don't know you, though. Maybe YOU'RE the the main instigator of said fights and don't even realize it. But either way BOTH of you need to be open minded and evaluate the constructive criticism from each other instead of turning to a defensive position.
Let him tell you what he dislikes and take it in to reflect on yourself and see, if what he says is true. Don't view his criticism as an attack on your character, but as a means to improve yourself.
And give versa, tell him in a calm way what is bothering you, but don't go off on a tangent. It needs to be a discussion of compromise, not a game of pointing fingers.
If this doesn't work, time to look for another relationship.2
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