I met a guy on Tinder and he seemed like a nice guy until we had sex?

hey there everyone.
I met a guy the other day on tinder: we had dinner and then went to a party i had, he was very respectful and nice to my friends. The next day he came to my house to watch a movie we kissed and a touched a lot but decided to go slow. That was a week ago.
Ever since then he talks to me everyday on whatsapp to see how is it going and talk for a couple minutes.

This past Thursday we went to a place to eat and then to a club, to dance a bit, we only kissed once. I don't know if it matters but our first "date" he payed for everything and showered me with attention, this time he was attentive but no as much and he asked to split the bill ( i'm not very used to this, but okay) then he talked to me on Friday and I saw him again yesterday.
Yesterday we went to dinner and a movie and then came back to my house for beers. So we talked a bit and then obvious happened... it seemed to me that he was at the end he was very self absorbed and after sex he fell sleep instantly. He asked me if i wanted him to stay, he said he had a lot of stuff to do but then i would never thought he would actually leave... but he left.
i tried to sleep but i felt bad- this has never happened to me- that a guy has left at the middle of the night after sex... I mean, harsh. So i texted him telling him i was mad at him for leaving, that i felt bad.
So he texted me right at the spot saying he was sorry, that he thought he was invading my space ( but he said he had a lot of stuff to do) then this morning he called me a couple times, said he liked me a lot and that he was not that kind of *******, that he was sorry for making me feel bad... anyway, he said a lot of stuff.
But i don't know what to think, because all the signs are there:
1. he was self absorbed at sex.
2. he didn't stayed the night
3. he is asking me to go dutch on dates with him.
4. He says i'm very attractive and he calls me names like-beautiful


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't like the way you are treated?

    Find someone else that treats you better.


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What Guys Said 7

  • Let me make it VERY simple for you:

    If you have sex with someone before you've established a formal, committed relationship with them, then you open yourself to being used for sex. It's that simple.

    Tinder is already a service that is mostly intended for HOOKUPS (i. e., sex without expectations). How you can be surprised that you got used for sex when you had sex with a guy from there on the second date, with plenty of warning signs, is beyond me. I know that's harsh, but it's the truth. The only person who can protect you is YOU, and that means you have to start making better decisions. I can't do that for you - no one can.

    The fact is that the world is full of men who want sex. If you take the average guy, and put him in a room with 100 random girls in his age range, he'll probably want to bang 50 or 60 of them, and if he can, he will. Of those 50 or 60, he'd probably only be interested in a relationship with 3-5 of them, but that doesn't stop him from wanting to bang the other 50+ girls he's physically attracted to. And almost every guy is like this, and so most of the time a guy finds you attractive, you're still going to be in the "do not want a relationship with her" category. He'll still want to bang you, but he's not interested in a relationship. It takes a lot more work and and filtering to find one of the guys who DOES put you in his "interested in a relationship" category.

    You didn't do any real filtering, and, surprise, surprise, you got burned. That sucks, but you need to take some responsibility too. If this guy knew sex wouldn't be on the table until you'd been in an official relationship for a while, he'd have bailed long before it went that far, because that's not what he wanted. That's how you filter guys out: you make them commit and make them wait for sex. If you choose not to follow that age-old formula, then don't be surprised WHEN (not if) you end up getting used for sex.

    • I think it's fitting that your profile picture is quagmire for this response xD

    • Show All
    • Look, you can do whatever you want to do. I'm telling you how most guys work, and why your method exposes you to being used for sex by guys. If you choose not to use the method I describe (but which I did not invent - it was invented by women to protect women), then so be it.

      I can just tell you that if you continue to do something else, you'll continue to expose yourself to being used. If you're okay with that, then so am I.

  • He might be playing with ya, or maybe he does like you so i say stay with him and if he repeats the same shizz then gtfo.

  • Why is it so strange to go dutch? Women really have to understand men dont even have to pay for them to begin with.

    • To me i don't mind paying... but in my experience when men do that is that they don't want to invest a lot in the relationship.
      I mean i don't care that much, if i was the case i wouldn't see him again and I did... but is not always a good sign.

  • can i ask how old? its important to me lol. im just trying to see at what age this awesome stuff starts happening

  • does he have to jump in fire to prove that he genuinely likes you? *shakes head?*

    • Hey there, thanks for commenting.

      but do you consider staying after sex jump in fire? yeesh. haha

  • you gave it up too fast what do you expect from tinder lol... welcome to tinder the sex dating app

  • Never have sex on the first date, that's just common sense


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