How do you feel about dating a young woman working night shift temporarily?

I'm a young woman (24) that just recently graduated nursing school. Yay! I landed my first job at the top hospital in the city, very difficult to do. It also happens to be my dream facility, and state hospital of the school I graduated from. However, in order to do so, I had to turn down my day shift offers at other hospitals, and except a night shift position.

Basically, I work 3 12-hr shifts a week. So I'd work 7p-7a three nights in a row, then be off work altogether for 4 days. I also work every 3rd weekend.

This is a temporary situation for me. Obviously I had the option of day shift somewhere else, but in order to get into the biggest hospital (with the best salary, benefits, and resume booster) as a new graduate, you have to pay your dues on night shift.

I will be switching as soon as a position comes up. It could be as soon as a couple months if I'm very lucky, or up to a year if I'm not. If it gets close to a year, I'll have enough experience to grab a day shift position somewhere else in the hospital if my floor is unable to offer it to me.

I also will do a night/day switch during the week. So on my 4 days off, I'll be a "day walker" as they call it. I'll still need some understanding over my sleeping needs though, as this will likely take a bit out of me.

So my question is, would you be willing to put up with this situation for 8 months to a year if you met a woman you really liked? I ask because I was talking to a new guy recently, and he pressured me into taking the day shift at different hospital. When I chose the night shift because it was my dream location and I knew it wouldn't be forever, he pulled back a lot and is barely talking to me now :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • I worked midnights for years, including weekends too. In my opinion, it is just as easy as working days. You just have to have the right frame of mind. Too many people are stuck with the idea that Friday and Saturday nights are your go out night. Bars and restaurants are open 7 days a week. The problem is dating someone who works 9-5 Mon to Fri and thinks nobody works beyond those hours. Lots of guys out there work shift work. I think most will understand and make it work.

    • Thanks :) Fortunately, I'll actually be able to go out Friday and Saturday nights (most weekends), and I'll also be around during the days for my days off so I don't feel it will be too bad. Obviously I'd prefer not to do it, but for right now it sounds worth it.

      I didn't think it would be too difficult to manage, in comparison to the accelerated nursing program I just completed. However, the phrase "night shift" seems to scare people, in particular that guy who thought I should've picked the day shift job in order to keep my normalcy.

    • Some occupations, like yours, automatically come with the assumption that you will be working shift work. Same goes for police officers, firefighters, mechanics and so on. To be honest, I would be happy to be dating someone with a promising career and future like yours. There are a lot of flakes out there that have no career direction at all. Don't worry. The right guy will have no problem with it.

    • Thanks that means a lot :) Ultimately I love this career, I fought for it, and I know it'll be better to get this out of the way now. Hopefully I can meet a guy like you!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • in my current situation, I wouldn't mind at all, in fact it would benefit us both. but in general, it all comes down to how much the guy likes you that will determine if he minds in the slightest, or not at all. but generally, most guys may not find, to begin with.

    • That's fair, thanks for the response. This guy I mentioned was trying to convince me to take day shift, and shortly after I picked my dream job, he asked about my plans to move soon, etc. I know he's figuring out if it'll be easy to date me. He hasn't stopped talking to me but he's backed way off.

      I guess it stinks because I'm already very nervous about doing night shift for perhaps a year if I'm unlucky, and would've appreciated the support. His reaction made me feel like my dating life is over until I get switched >:(

    • as you adjust to your new schedule you'll adjust to your new life, and you will then be able to find another guy or another guy will find you, that is more suitable to your new lifestyle.

    • Thanks I appreciate it :)

  • I've work 12hr rotating shifts for about 25 years. They can/will mess with your internal clock but you can get use to that. And you're young enough to adapt to the shift rotation. by the way 3 on 4 off is nice. I use to work it.

    But back to your question. Yes I would date a shift worker. Obviously there will be times your unavailable because of your work. And things will be missed or put on hold. Quite honestly, There are times where shifts can be helpful to a relationship. Everyone need "me" time. Regardless of your devotion to your partner. If one person is working shifts each of you will be able to have that time. Him, when you're on nights. You when you're off and he's at his job.

    Shifts do take a bit more work from each person. But it's nothing that can't be worked out.

    • Thanks for the feedback :) Yeah it's not a terrible gig when you consider the extra money, plus getting 4 days off in a row. When I switch to days eventually, my pay will take a major cut, plus I likely won't get all 4 days off back to back. Plus I've always hated getting up super early, but I know in the long run I'll want days for the easier social life.

      Glad to know though I won't have to give up dating for a year while I pay my dues on night shift :)

  • not into dating generally but i don't mind if someone works by night.

    • Thanks for the feedback

  • It would be very tough to date, but you should never change a dream job for a guy.

    • I agree. I don't know, it would be tough to see each other for those 3 nights I'm working, but after that it's easy. I'll be up when he's off work every day, up during the day 4 days a week, and around most weekends. Even when I switch to day shift I'll have to work every 3rd weekend so that wouldn't change.

    • Right. I mean wonky hours go with dating a nurse. It's to be expected.

    • Fair enough.

  • I worked 3rd shift for 8years so it wouldn't bother me and nurses are so hot!

    • Hahaha thank you! Seems a lot of guys have the nurse fantasy, but aren't willing to be supportive while I get my career started during graveyard shift. I'm worried my dating life will disappear until I can get switched :(

    • It wouldn't bother me at all I'd goout with you

  • night shift is not good for a girl, that too in a hospital? never. there is lots of chance getting cheated. have heard lots of stories about doctors n nurses. no no i cannot tolerate it. i wouldn't want my gf to work at a hospital, that too night shift? no way.

    • Hahah first of all, I've never cheated and never would. Second of all, you know I'm actually working during those hours right? Not going out to the bars?

    • if my gf was a nurse at a hospital doing night shift, i would not be able to sleep properly.

What Girls Said 1

  • If your up to it go for it

    • I'm not exactly up to it but I have no choice if I want to be "set" at this hospital for life lol A year or two from now I'll be so happy I did it as I'm rolling in the salary and benefits other nurses dream of, but for now it's scary and I'm not looking forward to it.