Why would he ask for my number or ask me out up until the 4th date and show signs of affection?

I've been reading up about this question a bit, and I have a few ideas on what this means in terms of our situation. To summarize:

after 4 weeks of dating (and the fact he asked for my phone number at the end of the first date):

-he asks (texts) 'may I ask you something? what are you "looking for right now?"
-I sorta bounced back the question, even though I did know: 'not exactly sure what you mean'
-reply: "I like you and going on dates with you but I'm not looking for anything serious right now... got out of serious relationship... not ready for anything more than casual. If not ok, I understand."
-my reply: I'm also not looking for anything serious... not looking for a fling either
-his reply: "I'm not looking for a fling either... I enjoy getting to know you... not emotionally ready for anything serious.
-my reply: I enjoy our time and hope it progresses naturally... wouldn't want to force/put labels on anything
-his reply: if you're cool with it, I hope we can continue to see each other

and then he proceeds to say he wants to plan something later this week after the Mon-Wed work rush. And it's true I'm not looking for anything serious yet either. However, if he was not interested in taking things further in the first place, why would he ask for my # or ask me out up until the 4th date and show signs of affection? Not trying to nitpick, but would appreciate some POVs!


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's fine just being friends with someone :) Romantic relationships need a bedrock of solid friendship if they're to work, and if things don't progress, you've got a good friend out of the deal. Just be patient and enjoy your light-hearted time with him!

    • sound advice! yeah we've been chatting since and I leave it up to him to initiate. I don't think I'll reach out to him first but if he does reach out, I'll be happy to talj to him. I've learned my lesson about reaching out and will now take a different approach. I will also not bring up any of what wevwe've discussed as far as where the relationship is heading, however hard or tempting it will be. Time to think like a man!

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What Guys Said 2

  • sounds like he wants to go out with you but wants limits on all the texting and chatting in between. But sometimes people say this but if they hit it off then things go out the window. If you like him just go with it and see what happens.

    • hey thanks for the insight although I do think he enjoys our convos. he's very busy with school and work so I have left it up to him to contact me. I will try and refrain from initiating contact just for now. Just last night, he texted me uunexpectedly to see how I was doing and we ended up talking (texting) til 11p even though he had to write and finish his paper. I guess it shows he's thinking about me even when he's busy BUT! I won't let it go to my head :)

  • You're casually dating, and he kind of needs your number to get in touch with you to arrange dates! Since you're both not looking for anything serious, I'm not seeing the problem here.

    • lol thanks, yeah I guess we sorta worked backwards, meaning we didn't know of (or hint about) one another's expectations during the first few times we've gone out. but now that I know his intentions, I've done some rethinking and I think we're on the same page now. We're supposed to go somewhere this Fri/weekend so we'll see how that goes!

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