Why am I always the middle man?

The last few girls I've dated have seemed to like me as much as I liked them. Everything is going great for a while then out of no where they start flaking on dates and becoming distant. Then I get told either they would rather be friends or they just met up with there ex and decided to try again. I'm a 6ft2 average looking guy with a great sense of humour (or so I'm told). I have a kind heart and think of myself as a gentleman. But lately it's got me thinking? Am I a middle man girls use until something better comes along? Or am I just dating girls out of my league?


Most Helpful Guy

  • are you the middle man? no that's just not a title that gets attached to someone and they spend their life playing that role

    are you dating out of your league? I don't know but I wouldn't say that you are

    it sounds to me like you should evaluate the girls you've dated. there sounds like a trend (perhaps girls who are fresh out of a relationship, sort of on the rebound, perhaps you seek out girls who simply aren't over their exes).

    • I wouldn't say I dated girls on the rebound, as both had been single for a while. And had dated others in that time. Just feels like the girls I start to fall for at that time lose interest.

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    • I wouldn't say I'm a push over, as I have said no to doing things and yeah I was always the first to text or call. I don't know maybe your right maybe I just had two girls in a row who weren't right for me. Just hurts when you start to devolop feelings for them and they break it off.

    • i hear you and it sucks no matter what. just move on and figure that they weren't good for you or worth your time.

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What Guys Said 2

  • "I have a kind heart and think of myself as a gentleman"

    That's your problem. Most girls treat guys like that as "good friends" until they can find someone else. I went through the same thing. Once I started becoming a little more an asshole, (not a total one mind you), women flocked to me. It's funny how women always talk about how they want to find a perfect guy, a gentleman, whatever. Then when you fit the bill, you get told you're "Too nice" or "too predictable or boring" or they "want a man who isn't afraid to stand up" to them. I've actually heard women talking about how they dumped their boyfriend or whatever BECAUSE he agreed with everything they said. Then they bitch and whine about how they can't find any nice guys.

  • It sounds like you haven't tried to make sexual advances or attract them sexually in any way whatsoever. If you don't at the very least suggest the IDEA of you and the other girl being intimate like that, then of course you're only going to be looked at as a friend. **Basically, you don't turn them on.** That's why they go back to their exes who they already have a sexual history with.

    • Trust me, it has nothing to do with being a good guy vs. an asshole like MothMonsterMan says. He has no idea wtf he's talking about. Women despise assholes, and guys who think they have to act like that to get women make themselves look like absolute retards. Only the desperate, young, and people with no self-esteem will take any interest in assholes. Smarter women will see right through that bullshit. Women want good guys WITH SPINE. That means they want men that know how to take what they want and stand up for what they represent.

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    • I'll put this way. I got more women and more p**** when I was a complete asshole than I EVER did by being a gentleman and a nice guy. I got the SAME lines fed to me that @LDNLad is getting right now. Once I changed, it changed too. Now, obviously if you want a LASTING relationship you can't be an asshole all the time. But if you're just looking for women, it works.

    • Morhmonster I appreciate your input, but I don't have any problem getting girls. It's the whole finding the right ones to build a relationship with, that I'm struggling with. I've had enough of messing around and being single