What would make you turn down a first date with a guy?

Be specific about things you look for that impact your decision to pursue dating with a man. More specifically, what makes you say no if a guy asks you out and you are single?

Brief Summary about me:

- In College trying to become a doctor
- Boxes 3 days a week and loves boxing and martial arts
- Swims 3 days a week and goes to the gym 3 days a week
- Volunteers at the hospital and animal shelter
- Loves to compete and loves to win
- Plays chess at a competitive club level
- Does not smoke, drink, or do drugs
- Does not swear and is always polite
- Stands with impeccable posture
- Does not party that often
- Has friends who are involved in his interests
- Takes pride in his appearance, both hygiene wise and fashion wise, does his best to look his best at all times
- Loves dogs and animals
- Loves learning foreign languages
- Is a good listener and is patient
- Is always truthful no matter what

Knowing that, what would make you say no to a first date? (not boasting about myself, just trying to find weaknesses)

Reason I ask this is because I was cheated on and felt destroyed, I need to know what my weakness was so I never get cheated on again.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Why would I say no:
    - I'm not physically attracted to him
    - He comes across as creepy/needy
    - I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship right now, for whatever reason.
    - I'm already interested in someone else
    - I really value his friendship; to the point there's no way I'm risking losing it by a break-up
    - He's cocky/arrogant and/or annoying
    - I don't think we're relationship compatible e. g. he's too immature, we want different things in a relationship

    I usually am of the rule that if he has the courage to ask me out, I'll go on one date with him to see how things are/get to know him better. But I would say no if any of the above applied. :)


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 8

  • I like another guy

    he doesn't appeal to me/attract me

    I didn't feel a connection

    felt he was boring

    didn't feel his personality worked with mine

    something he said or did put me off

    • Your opinion is very vaguely stated and open to interpretation, you need to be more specific if you want to help me improve myself.

    • well I don't know you in person. I gave general reasons why I might choose to turn down a guy for the first date. I don't know why this particular girl turned you down bc all women are different and like different things in guys. we would never really know unless we asked that particular girl. you are not my particular cup of tea but there are other girls who would love you

      but my advice is: be real and put down some of your flaws. you have them, we all do. making a list of your flaws would also help us evaluated you as well as give a more realistic version of yourself

  • There can be million reasons to say no. But only one has the biggest effect. There is no spark at all. If I am not into him, I am not into him. That is it.

    • This is what I am always confused by. What is the "spark"? Being a logical person, I try to reason as to what it is, but without concrete evidence and data I cannot formulate a hypothesis.

    • When it comes to relationships, there is no logic at all, well overall. You act according to your feelings. Heart speaks more than brain. All the qualities you mentioned are just great. Don't question it. They make you, you. Just keep searching. Matter of time.

  • We have nothing in common.
    With the amount of crap going on in his life, he wouldn't have time for me.
    There is no spark.
    Just not attracted to him.

    There could be a million and one reasons why. Just move on.

    • Excuse me, but the work I do is hardly "crap", I would not ever refer to a persons passions and community service as crap, and I am a little offended by how you seem so quick to disregard my hard work.

    • Show All
    • You took one word and made it into a HUGE deal. Honestly dude, you really need to lighten up.

    • lol he goes from 0 to 100 real quick. that could be seen as a sign of mental instability/rage issues. if you act like this on the internet I can only imagine how "intense" you may come off in real life. you may think because you don't lash out on people that its not obvious, but that seething rage within you can probably be sensed by others. you need to chill out. girls don't like tightly wound up guys

  • If they were leering over me and all pervy. If they were only interested in one thing. If it was obvious they were trying their luck with every girl. If they were chauvinistic- ugh I hate that.

    • I do not want that, I want companionship, loyalty and affection above all else.

    • Good :D well you sound like a really interesting guy, I'm sure there will be plenty of girls willing to at least give you a chance :)

  • Well let me start out by saying that you sound like a wonderful person. But, if the connection isn't there then there's nothing you can do about it, really.

  • If I wasn't into him as far as dating... that's it.

    • What does that mean? This opinion is meaningless unless you can be more specific, you must at least be able to objectify what you are attracted to.

    • Show All
    • List them out then, so I can see what I am lacking in order to optimize my success rate. I ask this question because I was cheated on and want to know what I was lacking.

    • What I'm saying is, I don't see how that's gonna help you. Yes, I could list them out but there's a great chance that those are NOT reasons why this OTHER GIRL cheated on you. It seems like you want to lump all women into a box as far as our likes & dislikes. That's not gonna help.

  • Based on your rudeness to the other comments, you sound so uptight, and that is a huge turn off to girls.

  • You sound like everyones dream guy to me lol but I'm guessing the girls you go after aren't anything like you. Try going for people who would recognize how amazing you are.


What Guys Said 4

  • The number one reason I wouldn't date you is. I'm a guy. ;-p

    When I was reading your list. I thought "this guy has a high opinion of himself"

    Then when I saw your response to @pr3ttybr0wn and @SomethingWicked. I thought. "Nope I'm wrong. He's just an arrogant tool"

    You might want to start with that weakness.

    • He can't, he doesn't see any weaknesses in himself, and

      ... obviously everyone else has something against him, because he's so perfect.


    • Show All
    • @RelentlessRunout - I think it's time for new glasses. I couldn't figure out why you were calling us PEANUTS. LOL!!

    • @GalaxyHotChoc - Yes he does seem to be Mr. Smooth doesn't he?

  • here's a starting point. Work on your people skill. You sound like a uptight turd and an intense person. Those 2 combined right there can get people to walk away.

  • I volunteer at animal shelter too. I'd date you but I don't dicks so it'd be difficult

  • fuik u fuckin bitch im not a fuckin f** fuck u this is diksrespect to skealatins #fuckfags #feg 'feg 'feg #feg #fuckutbitch #fucku #fuckuupufuckinfagdontfuckinaskmetodateubitch

  • You sound pretty boring if i'm honest and arrogant in a way.

    • Boring? lol my schedule is already filled up I can't add much more to it to make me more interesting haha :S

    • Exactly! By trying to become "interesting" you inadvertently become even more boring.

Loading... ;