My emotional boyfriend doesn't know what he wants. What do I do?

I've been seeing this one guy for the past 4 months now. The past 4 weeks have been a living hell for me. He texted me at some point, that he needed time to think over our relationship. I agreed to it and told him if that was what he wanted, then I wished him all the best.
Three days later, he told me he regretted his decision and wanted to try again. I suggested meeting up.

We met up and he once again said he didn't want a relationship. We had a few drinks, which made it difficult for me to comprehend what he was saying. However, we decided to try our relationship again. A few days after I got a weird vibe and funny feeling in my stomach, so I decided to tell him that I agreed with his initial decision and that if he wasn't looking for a relationship then I wished him all the best.

Once I said that, he suggested meeting up once again to discuss 'us.. and I ended up accepting it.

Once we met up, I told him that we should take some time off because it seemed to me like he was confused about what he wanted. At first he agreed, telling me about his family having problems etc. But as I got up to leave, he said "please, don't leave". He decided to walk me to the bus, but by the time I got there he tried kissing me and said that he loved me very much and that he was going to introduce me to his friends.

However, I get a vibe from him now again that he is avoiding me.. I even asked him yesterday, if this was what he wanted and he said yes, but I keep having a weird gut feeling. So, what do I do in this situation?


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  • From what you're saying, it seems I've been in a similar relationship. The guy was much more emotional and less rational than I was. He over thought a lot and in turn, make me over think things I normally wouldn't because if he was questioning it, shouldn't I be too?

    In the end, we broke up, got back together briefly, only had sex, then it just came time for him to leave school (for reasons other than us) and it just ended. And thank god it did. He was an amazing boyfriend but in the end the ups and downs and overthinking and overemotional-ness and stress wasn't worth it.

    This doesn't seen like a relationship that can last in the long run. I say, move on. By the tone you have it doesn't seem you're that into him. If you truly loved him, I'd understand working through this. That's something only you know.

    So, is the struggle worth it?

    Think about it

    • Thanks for your input. I have tried to make it work and lately I feel like I've been the only one trying.. (e. g. texting, calling, skyping etc) but he seems to pull away. The thing is, I don't want to make him unhappy by forcing him to stay with me. He's just made me really confused by being hot one minute and cold the next.

    • I've heard, since I haven't gotten to the ideal relationship yet, generally they are supposed to "feel" easy, especially this early in. Do you want to stay with him?

      The thing is if you do you might end up resenting him or him you

    • I would like to stay with him, but I don't think he's at that point right now where he will be happy with me. I did suggest for him to have some time on his own, but he got worried I'd move on and date other people.

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