Met a guy online, had 3 lovely dates, everything was great he texted & called regularly then it all went wrong?

We hadn't had any physical intimacy yet & for our 4th date he invited me to his house for the first time which as it turned out I couldn't make because I went to look at a car that I ended up buying & it all got too late. We made another plan & at the same time I asked him if we were still going away the following weekend, he went quite then said um yes we still could do that... meantime the following day I got a text from him telling me he liked me a lot but wasn't in a good space mentally and was still struggling to get over his ex girlfriend, needed time to come to terms with it & shouldn't see me or anyone until then!!! Is this an excuse? and/or what did I do wrong? Can't help but think me bringing up going away didn't help P. S He did mention he had trouble performing when his wife of 17 years had an affair before their divorce but that was a long time ago... Would appreciate any input...

Received a text from him last week saying he's been offered a business contract in San Fran for 3/4 months & his head should be sorted out by then so he will contact me when he gets back!! He's in Finance & works with 4 Global companies so could be feesible but why bother contacting me to tell me? He's already off the hook. Is he doing a prison stint or something as the turnaround from him looking forward to seeing me then struggling to get over the ex was less than 24 hrs?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he wanted to use Date 4 to tell you he wasn't sure about things. When that got cancelled, he was stumped. When you called to reschedule, it would have given him another chance to slow things down, but you leaped ahead and started talking about the weekend away. He didn't want to get into the whole slow-down on the phone... so he lied. And then realised that was a shitty thing to do, so texted a come back. And that obviously negated the need for the 4th date to tell you that stuff to your face.

    • Thanks for the input, just wanted to add, for the invite to his house he had said that assuming I was staying the night would I like to go to the gym with him in the morning followed by a traditional pub lunch so it didn't seem like he was going to dump me... d'you agree?

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    • But chickened out why? Because of the ex or we'll never know?

    • Never know. But I don't see why he'd lie about the reasons.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You did nothing wrong, it's not your fault. Give him about a week to clean up his mind, but we don't want him to lead you on, so after a week have a serious conv with him and tell him to pull himself together or your gone. If it didn't work out then move on, don't let any one lead you on.

    • I basically texted him back and said I was disappointed as I thought we were friemds at the very least and that we were all getting over someone but I understood and would have been happy to get to know him without any pressure... He texted back and said 'thankyou for being so understanding'! So I guess it's all off!

    • Whatever, move on !!! He missed out !!!

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