Guys I need your perspective here! He responds right away, but never initiates, is he interested?

So I've been seeing this guy for 4 months. We started talking in July and he has been moving things slowly along.

It took us 4 dates to hold hands and 5 dates to kiss. We haven't slept together yet but we do see each other each weekend.

Our last real date was a couple weeks ago. We went mini golfing and he was teasing me the whole time and being playful.

I tried to see him last weekend but 3 times he didn't respond to my texts about seeing each other. It's possible he was actually busy, but why not send a quick reply saying sorry can't see you because I have a lot going on?

Anyway it was odd behaviour for him, as he usually seems interested in hanging out.

So I basically didn't talk to him for a couple days, hoping if he was interested he would reconnect.

But he didn't. However when I messaged him after the 2 days, he responded immediately.

What's up with this?

I said I missed him on the weekend and he responded saying he missed me too.

What is going on?

He's told me a couple times that he wants me to be his gf someday. i responded being receptive to that saying I would like that. But nothing has become official so far. When we are together. He holds my hand, cuddles and teases me


Most Helpful Guy

  • I guess he is just shy, don't expect guys to allways be the ones that takes the initiative. Some guys wishes for the girl to be one who askes the boy out.
    Just go talk with him, ask him out, be the one who takes the initiative and after that see if he is actually interested


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What Guys Said 1

  • Your update concerns me a bit. Unless this guy is in high school, wanting you to 'be his gf someday' is a flag.

    Yes, people get busy. I can go a couple of days without contacting someone pretty easily, without even realizing it. But it sounds like you two are at that cusp of a relationship, and now is not the right time to be 'easing off' and talking about being together some hypothetical day in the future. That sounds like a way to string you along while he sorts out some shit and makes some decisions.

    You should probably do a bit of a soft press on his intentions. Just some sort of 'I was wondering why you don't want me to be your girlfriend now?' It's not like having you as a gf means that he has to suddenly see you every day, but it does indicate a desire for growth together and implies an interest in some sort of exclusivity. I mean, you can ask him if he doesn't want to be your bf, what would he think if you got a different bf? Because this sounds like a set-up for him being able to be non-committal while having you develop enough of a bond that you stay 'faithful' to a non-relationship.

    • I agree with what you have written here. Problem is the Someday comment was said about a month and a half ago. Now he's no longer talking to me as much. So I blew it right? :(

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