Guys, how would you like to be treated at the beginning of the courting?

Guys (especially those shy ones), tell me what type of behaviour you would appreciate from a girl you like - at the very beginning of the relationship?

Currently, there is a guy I interract with and I can see he is into me, but he is very careful. He contacts me often, but never asks me out or says he is interested in me. Once he even saw me with my friends and changed his direction to avoid me. But when I´m meeting him accidentally alone, he always smiles at me and when I start the conversation, he looks totally happy.

Yesterday we were chatting together on Facebook for two hours (it was him who added me), but still, no ask for a date. Do you think he is waiting for me to give him some hints?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Some pretty obvious hints - or just come on out and ask him. Like, ask if he's seen a certain movie, been to a certain place, and if he doesn't pick up on it, ask if he'd like to go.

    I'd avoid a girl I had a crush on while she was with her friends. I want my privacy with her, not her friends listening in and saving it all for gossip later (or teasing right away).

    • how about "liking" his profile picture on fb? would this encourage you at least a bit?

    • A tiny, TINY bit. People like any old shit on Facebook, liking might as well mean 'so and so has seen this post'.

      If you want this guy, be straight with him. Don't come on super strong but just say hey, would you like to go and see Dracula with me?

    • This. It's really difficult to tell when a female is interested in you. Much of the time, they're extremely subtle and think they're being obvious. Like, 'omg, how did you not know I was into you when I stared into your eyes for 2.5 seconds instead of 1 second?' or, 'I touched your arm, take a hint!' A bunch of stuff that girls who just want to be friends would do.

      With guys, it's difficult, because some girls are really bitchy when they say no. Like, "omg, I can't believe you think *I* would be into *you*." Or just really dismissive and rude. It's pretty nerve racking, even without those things--which, granted, aren't *that* often.

      I might recommend just asking him, "Do you like me?" Being alone together is also helpful, because it would be extra nerve racking around other people. Being alone is that time when you'll both feel safe in expressing yourselves.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Shy one answering.
    First of all, approaching out of the blue if i don't know you won't be a good idea. instead try to befriend me first. I don't trust the intentions of strangers.
    But if i know you and you have a crush on me, and you see it's returned, don't hesitate to bring it up. Shy guys got a habit of not daring to admit their feelings. We want to be 100% sure, and even then we can be scared as hell of the concequenses.
    As for the dating, don't be afraid to take the initiative. Go for casual "dates" where we do stuff and have fun; things that can make us feel comfortable and secure. And stuff where you can be yourself. No need to doll up for us, just dress casual nice, that's enough (at least for me) :)
    And for the love of god, don't put us between a rock and a hard place by asking "rhetorical questions" where all answers can make you mad, just because you are curious. We don't like it, and it makes us feel like you're a source of drama (hint, that's a major turnoff).

    I think that's about it.

    • how can i make him more sure about my interest? would "liking" his profile pic on fb help?

    • *facepalm* why do you girls always have to be so goddamn subtle about it? And no, NOTHING on Facebook is apropriate for that! Stay away from that place when it comes to sending signals. And no, "liking" his image is not a signal.
      Meet him in person, flirt with him, hang out with him. And if you two are alone when you do it, the better. you are to court the good old fashioned way. Try to "ninjadate him", by asking him to hang out with you an evening just the two of you (after having dropped some hints, and hung with him). Don't treat it like a date, but do feel free to flirt. When you need to head home (or he drops you off), kiss his cheek and tell him how the night was (max one sentence), then give him a wink before leaving. That'll make him think XD

  • he's most likely waiting for some obvious hints. throw him a few. and you totally threw me off when you said "beginning of the courting" hahaa.

    • what could be an obvious hint? tell me more :)

    • ask him to hangout 1 on 1 and spend time together and then flirt with him.

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