Will he give me another chance? Really need your help!!!?

Started dating my friend's brother I met at a wedding. He ended up asking me out and we had an incredible first date. We have so much in common and he clearly was very into me. He ended up spending the night but we just made out and had fun. He's a divorced 32 yr old from the burbs and I'm 29 living in NYC.

He called me every day the past week and chatted and was so excited to see me. He invited me over to his house that he bought with his ex wife and I went since it was on the way to my parents. It wasn't about sex, so that's out of the question. All we did was make out and he knew I wasn't interested in sex too soon.

I was sick that day but didn't want to cancel, and was stressed from work, so when I showed up, I wasn't really feeling well and tried to put on a good face. However, I ended up saying several things to make it seem like I didn't like his suburban lifestyle, and said I felt uncomfortable being in his ex wife's house. He knew I was uncomfortable and so it got very serious rather than fun. BUT, we still ended up having some fun and made out a lot and he was very caring to me not feeling well. He even offered to get me breakfast in bed the next day and drove me an hour because I was running late to meet my family and he felt bad. He was very chatty in the morning and kissy and acted like everything was fine. When I left he said have a nice weekend and talk to you soon and gave me a big hug and kiss.

Later that day I sent him a text thanking him for the ride and saying it was nice to see him and that I forgot my charger at his place. He said he was sorry about the charger and that he would give it to his brother to give to me this week. I said thanks and teasingly asked if that meant I wasn't going to see him again. He didn't respond. The next day I wrote him a note saying I was sorry for not feeling well and ruining the date he planned for us. No response. Is he done and can I do anything? He still seemed to like me when I left him.

  • He's not intersted anymore and give up.
    Vote A
  • He's on the fence and maybe I/his brother can fix things
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
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P. S. He kept talking all about future plans with me up until things got weird at his house. Yes, I know I messed some things up, but if a guy really likes a girl, will he be able to overlook one bad night?
Guys, if I call him in a few days, will that ruin all my chances with him?
He came around and things got back to normal. He ended up coming to visit me all weekend! Contacted me after the weekend saying he had a great time and still seemed very interested. As the week went on, he didn't contact me much except a call at night. He has a very busy week with work and events, but its not like him. I tried calling him a few days ago and he got back to me the next morning, saying he was out and sorry he missed my call. Haven't heard from him in 2 days at all. Whats up?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He may be doing his own soul searching of everything that happened at his house. However, being you were sick, not yourself and with being in another state of mind, it natural, I know, m to say things that you may have not meant. My only Question here is: Did he know you were under three weather?
    With him rudely putting you now on his pay no mind list, he may have gotten Now another sour ball sign that with what you implied the nite before about being "Uncomfy in the Ex's house" and the joke about the "Am I ever going to see you again?" He may be doing even more Thinking And Sinking lower believing that there might be a problem in having a relationship with you because he feels you may be a bit too Opinionated and there probably would be a War of the Roses down a beaten path.
    I am being honest here. I am seeing the sure signs of someone who is feeling that things may not be right in the chemistry department and he is feeling trouble down a dead end road here.
    If you don't hear from him, don't contact him until he contacts you. Don't involve your brother neither. This is your business, not a family affair.
    Yes, in a Real relationship, where couples have been together for awhile, it's unconditional love that will bring them back if it is true love. But with a newbie relationship that needs nursing and nurturing in order to see where things are going, a First Impression many times can make this go South and dead in the water and the bad vibes cannot be shook no matter what. They go on That as meaning a No Go.
    Good luck. xx

    • I'm sure his head is spinning about what happened too since I know he felt uncomfortable too. He knew I was sick, but I don't think he knew how sick I really was and how out of character that was for me, which is why I feel the need to call him and show him the regular me now that I'm feeling better. I don't want to involve his brother either. It looks juvenile. But I still want to call and chat with him in a few days and see if I can honestly explain

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    • You're right. He's put up a barrier and it seems pretty obvious he's shutdown from me. I didn't think sending that joking text would be a big deal, but obviously it was. Can't take it back so need to move forward. Even if things don't work out with people, I like them to at least judge me on the truth rather than who they think I was being. Maybe it's best to wait a week or so and then call him up and act like it all blowed over. That gives me time to see if he's interested and for him to cool off and let go of those negative feelings.

    • Yes, wait a week and see if he responds but with the first time, for I know you were sick, nothing 'seemed right' and the joke on top of the other not so sweet topping to the cake, he has this grudge bearing barrier that has stuck to the roof of his mouth and is stuck in his head that he fears will go down real bad in the future... xx

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Just keep talking to him and meeting up with him. And dont be worried about being in the same place as his ex-wife's. You have to understand that he can't control how you feel about his place. Im sure he doesn't want to feel uncomfortable about being in the same house as his ex-wife, but he can't control that and neither can you. Ideally, it would be nice for him to move out into his "own" house that his ex-wife was not a part of, but selling a house and moving is a big deal and doesn't happen quickly.

    Its not where the two of you are, its the fact that you're hanging out together. If the love of my life was homeless, I wouldn't think twice about hanging out with her in a dumpster in some alley as long as she made happy. As long as I get to be with her, I dont really care about anything else.

    Respond to my post please!!
    girlsaskguys. com/dating/q1192553-if-your-gf-bf-told-you-its-easier-to-ask-for-forgiveness-than-for

  • Why would you joke about not seeing him again after putting your foot in your mouth so many times already? Before I know a girl well, jokes like that (even if I know it's a joke) freak me out.

    You're your own worst enemy here, you need to come clean with him, stop joking around, and be honest. Yes, you were uncomfortable, but you will work through it because you want to spend more time with him.

    • You're very accurate. What step should I take next then? I sent a text trying to apologize and explain that I just wasn't feeling well and hoped to hear from him soon. Should I just call him this week and explain everything?

    • Try asking his brother if he's said anything, because you're worried you've offended him and now he's not answering. Apart from that, calling to explain everything is your best option and I hope he's prepared to listen and give you a chance.

    • I'm afraid to ask his brother since I'll look like I'm stalking him! Maybe I'll just call him when I get home and have a phone. I hope he'll answer when I call.

  • No it just sounds like he is busy


What Girls Said 3

  • what things did you say to make it weird and awkward? depending on what they are it could have been a dealbreaker

    • I said I felt uncomfortable in his house that he bought with his ex but he said he understood that. I also made a few comments about not understanding how people live in the suburbs and what he does with his time. I was curious, but I think he was hurt that I didn't love his lifestyle and home. I was intimidated by it actually and it was just different.

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    • I know I must sound nuts to him, but I was half awake when I wrote that and then my phone died. It's just not been a good week and I kept trying to explain that. I would rather risk calling him to explain rather than let him think I'm a jerk.

    • i think if you call him he will keep thinking you're clingy and he will try to avoid you more

  • He might just not have his phone.

  • Try telling him that your comments came out wrong. You didn't mean to degrade him and that you don't hate the way he lives you just don't understand it because it's different.