I met an incredibly sweet, intelligent, caring, funny introverted guy. It's early days but I'd like to think it's going really well. We have a similar sense of humor (he makes me laugh more than any other guy I've dated) and he's been amazing to talk to when I'm struggling with the demands of my job. Doesn't give unwanted advice, just listens and helps me talk through obstacles.
We've spent a lot of time together - the thing is, as someone who is incredibly extroverted, I recharge by spending time with him and talking to him. But he cancelled a date the other day because he said he needed solo time to recharge. He immediately set up another date and even though I let him be to give him his requested space - and made it clear I was understanding with his need - he still touched base before he went to bed. So I don't think I'm worried about this being MORE than just him needing to recharge.
What's difficult for me is, I recharge by spending time with him, which means I have the opposite mentality, so truly understanding his need the other day was hard. I did get nervous it was a pull-away, mostly because my mentality is so different. I also know he will pull away when he's unsure of a relationship and while there would be nothing I could do to stop that, I don't know how to decipher just needing solo time and I'm losing interest.
I guess I'm just asking introverts to weigh in and help me understand his needs so I don't take it the wrong way. I think if I can understand his perspective it can cut back on unnecessary worry. I know I have patterns of neediness (like I said I recharge by talking to him and friends) and I'd REALLY like to grow in this relationship and break my own patterns in order to give this a chance to work. I think understanding the introvert perspective will help with this.
If you were and introvert dating a super extrovert, how would you want the partner to approach their own insecurities with it?
Most Helpful Guy
It's good to know that you're willing to see things his way.
People can't believe I'm an introvert, and yes we do need time to recharge by ourselves. It's different for everyone (I won't get into the specifics, but being an emotional empath doubles the recharging time we sometimes need).
Let me ask you a few questions, are you loosing interest because the lack of time with him or is it something else? It sounds like your communication with him is open at this point, what type of job does he have / is he an emotional empath?2
- Show AllShow Less