Our relationship GREAT 2 years 2 months worked out all our problems (typical wash your dishes give me more kisses stuff) with love respect etc
I am applying for med school in June out of the area (I'm ineligible for the nearby school) and was an exotic dancer which I told him day 1. He wanted me to quit so I understood saved a lot of money and quit the job thinking that our relationship was moving forward. Over almost 2 years I didn't work and have spent near all my savings (about 80k) (i work at a hospital getting hours for medical school and take 16-18 units) he says angrily that he'd move with me wherever I got accepted but won't willingly talk to me about it or marriage.
I have given up, happily, many things for this relationship to grow and move forward. If i was engaged I wouldn't worry but I'm not and I have no security. He's amazing don't get me wrong, but after 2 years I need more. I'm considering going back to dancing over winter break between semesters. I have no money I support myself and have time to work 1 day a week.
Should I just do what's best for me? I mean I'll sacrifice but I can't make these sacrifices without a secure relationship and future. What if I get into a All and he decides not to come?
Most Helpful Guy
Always you first. Relationships are fundamentally about trust, but trust has many levels. You need to trust yourself and you need to trust him, and you need to trust in him that he trusts himself and trusts you as well. This is accomplished by two seemingly simple ideas: honesty and communication. If you express your true concerns and true desires in a honest way (here a lot of people fail because they think they are being honest to their partner, but they aren't being honest to THEMSELVES, and sub-sequentially they aren't being honest to their partner either) you may be able to either compromise, or maybe you can discover core values within eachother that are simply not compatible, or perhaps the ones that are. Then you need to ask yourself which values are compromisable and which ones aren't. If he can't understand your needs and isn't willng to work on them, he clearly isn't putting the relationship first, he is putting himself first. And I don't blame him, but you should too.. And who knows, maybe you can both get what you want.0
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