I've always been focused on getting a good education and job. I've had crushes on guys but they were never interested in me. I've never been on a date.. EVER. I've had some guys ask me out but I said no because I didn't find them attractive physically or they were just not my type. I'm smart, independent, funny, outgoing, loyal, and honest. All my friends (the few that I have) have dated lots of guys or are either married. Some guys think I'm "cute" because I'm petite but nothing goes further than that. Is there something wrong with me?
Most Helpful Guy
Yes, there's something wrong with you.
What's wrong is that you've made NO REAL EFFORT to date. You seem to think that dating is something that just happens to girls, but the truth is that girls have to do a good amount of work, to both be in places where single guys can find them, and to encourage the guys they like to approach them. You've clearly done little or none of that, and so it's no surprise that you haven't dated.
If you're waiting at home on your couch/in bed for the perfect guy to knock on your door and introduce himself, then you're going to die alone. If, instead, you start taking an active role in your own romantic life, there's an excellent chance that you'll have a boyfriend in 6 months. Sure, it could happen sooner, but you're going to have to screen a bunch of guys until you find one that;
- you like
- who likes you
- who is compatible with you
- who isn't just looking for sex from you
You do that by DATING. Dating is like a trial run - you get to know the person better, and you see if there's any kind of connection, and if so, you start talking about compatibility. What you do NOT do is rush into sex - sex needs to wait until you have an official relationship. Why? Because 90% of the guys who show interest in you will just want sex. That's not "bad", it's just how men work. You need to know going in that 90% of guys will need to be filtered out to find the 10% who really want an "official" relationship with you. This means you cannot think of the 90% you filter out as any sort of failure on your part - just the opposite, it means you are doing it RIGHT.
Now, you may also need to lower your appearance standards - you aren't likely to get interest ONLY from guys who look like they could be actors or Abercrombie models, just as I'm not going to get interest only from girls who look like Victoria's Secret models. In a relationship, you'll find that personality and compatibility are FAR more important.2