How to take a step back in a relationship?

Okay, so to offer a little background information: me and my partner have been together a year and a half. Recently weve been having a lot of talks about his lack of affection towards me- and that the amount of serious/pressure/tension building talks has caused him to become uncomfortable with opening up to me- not long ago he lied to my face about something serious that he did out of fear (I blew fuse one night on the whole lack of affection front and nearly called it off) His reason for lying was to make sure it didn't cause another serious 'relationship threatening/more tension' talk that have been happening for too long now.
I've been thinking about it a lot, and although i'm not taking all the blame, I can certainly say I was wrong to pressurize him as much as i did.
The mistake we made is that we moved to fast and gave all our love too quickly at the start of the relationship- within 3 months we were talking marriage and kids and completely high on honeymoon period. And now, all I've felt is disappointment because I'm not seeing anything close to what I had in those early months and I miss it a lot.

I now realize I need to take a step back and really get to know my boyfriend for who he is and to make sure he feels comfortable enough to open up to me and speak his mind (which really would solve a lot of problems).
We text all day everyday and have done the entirety of our relationship (we only see each other on weekends cause he lives a couple of hours away) which takes a lot of excitement and wonder out really and probably tells him he doesn't NEED to try and chase me anymore.

So here's what Im wondering- I've explained to him that Im going to take a step back.. Im trying my best not to focus on how much affection he's showing me, and it has really helped us bond. the affection isn't all there- but it might be after a while right?
But do I stop texting him all the time? and If I do I tell him why I'm doing it? and what else should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to find another guy... he is a bozo. Is he masturbating and watching p*rn? I don't get it? Your a young, sweet thing and he lacks affection? Goddamn, what will he be like when older? Must be queer.

    He should be all over you like an octopus. Get someone that loves you and showers you with affection. Your beating a dead dick. He should be eating you like a fat kid eats pizza... just devouring you.

    Stop wasting your time and find a guy that adores you. Good luck!


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