I'll tell you a bit about me. Sorry if it's long (lol).
I'm 16. I'm about 6'2, 140lbs, half White, half Mexican, I'm confident about pretty much everything except my ability with girls, I've never had a girlfriend, I've never kissed/been kissed, I'm an honors student, I'm smart, I'm not in any clubs or sports, I play piano and guitar, I play video games, I'm can be an extreme jerk, but only to stupid people, I'm an agnostic/deist, I'm a realist, I'm a pessimist, I like learning about music, history, and science.I get compliments on my appearance from my mom's friends (sad, I know), and chick friends, but I don't believe them. I think I look average, not hideous, but by no means great. What I'm looking for in a girl is anyone who I can spend the rest of my life with. I want someone to share all of life's amazing experiences with me. I'll probably be a fire fighter. I want 1 or 2 kids.
Now my question is not "Am I date-able?", because I figure I am.
My question is: Why don't I have a girlfriend yet? Why don't women approach me? What is so bad about me?
Please don't say "You're only 16, you've got time." because the fact is, I don't know how much time I have. I could be hit by a bus, or struck by lightning tomorrow. That stuff probably won't happen, but every second is valuable to me, and virtually every second without a significant other is like a waste of time.
Most Helpful Guy
Here's the deal bud,
You're 16, and all that stuff you say about yourself, you wear on your sleeve. Actually, with as much stuff as you have written, you're wearing it on you chest, back and face. And part way down your legs.
It's extremely intimidating for ANY girl your age to run into a 16 year old boy, and yes you're a boy, who has that many concrete opinions on that many issues.
It doesn't feel natural to them, and therefore they tend to see it as you playing a game.
Now, I'm not saying stop being you. You have to be who you are, and believe what you believe. When I was your age, I had that many opinions on issues too. And I had the same affect on girls my age. They couldn't understand it.
One girl my age that did take a particular interest in me, lost it all together when she found me in the library reading "Dante's Inferno." That's just how it goes at that age.
Even though teens see themselves as budding adults, and should be taken deftly serious, the fact remains that many teens are still trying to hold onto their identities as children.
It doesn't apply to all, but it does apply to most. And there are even more teens who are seeking out a balance between the child and adult. And it doesn't exist, but they find out in there own time.
So with that in mind, consider that a girl your age see's you, with all these thoughts and seriousness, and guess what? It scares her. It scares her to think she has to be at your level someday. It scares her that your mindset is what she has to look forward to. It's overwhelming and because they don't want to accept it in mean time, they are going to steer clear of you.
So, don't take offense, don't overthink yourself, and be who you are. In fact, be proud of who you are.
On a separate subject, you do have plenty of time.
You may not want to hear it, but at your age you should definitely not be looking for a life partner, which is what you’re suggesting in your post.
The truth is, even with your advanced thoughts, you’re definitely not ready for that kind of relationship. There is a lot of life experience that you need to go through before that relationship can be attained. You may see people out of high school getting married right away, but many of those relationships are going to be very unsuccessful.
So buckle up, and get ready to enjoy life sans a girl for the time being. And besides, the less you think about it, the more girls will take an interest. Aside from the fact that girls can see all the writing on your face about life, they also can sense your strong desire for a relationship, and that’s just as much, if not more of a turn off than the former.
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