Is it wrong to accept a date from the guy-you-almost-dated friend?

So a couple months back I went on a few dates with a lovely guy who I really enjoyed spending time with and hanging out with but who I just couldn't see a future with. I think I just wasn't all that attracted to him and it's the wrong time in my life for a relationship. I ended it before we could become official because I just respected him to much to play with his feelings, but he definitely liked me.
Fast forward and I think me and him are on our way to becoming friends although I don't know if that's partly fueled by lingering feelings on his part. Anyway recently one of his mates that I met while we were seeing each other has started talking to me fairly heavily and I'm certain this goes beyond a friendly gesture. Guy 2 is absolutely gorgeous and a nice person, although granted I do not know him that well, but the thing is I really would like to. He's sparked my interest I guess. I also have friends that are pushing the notion of Guy 2. Of coure the problem is I really don't want to hurt Guy 1's feelings when it's started being so good again and I still don't want a relationship, although I guess that could change if I met the right person?
Anyway I know you should never date an exes friend but we were never anywhere close to something that could result in 'exes', also could one date just to get to know one another really be a bad thing? I just need outside opinions to overide my rose coloured glasses in case I'm potentially going to make a mistake that I'll regret. I don't care if it ruins my life but I really wouldn't want to hurt Guy 1 anymore than I already have.


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  • Look, yeah you kind of are in a bad position right now.
    There's nothing wrong with going out with guy2 to see how things go and to get to know each other better. But I think it would be better if you consider it as a simple get together, so he doesn't get any of his hopes up high (as you mentioned you still don't want a relationship) and also not to hurt guy1.
    But IFFF anything happens and you feel like you WANT a relationship with guy2 because who knows what might happen? Then it's totally okay to go for it. You've never been with guy1 and it is not your fault that he still has feelings for you. Just have a talk with him and see how things go. Hopefully he will be understanding and will get himself to move on.
    Good luck.