Am I over anaylsing this situation or is this a lost case? Could use the advice :)?

Well i dated a guy 8 months ago, and things were amazing but unfortunatly he didn't live in my town so we didn't get to meet often, we went on total of 5 dates, where we had sex and he slept over at my place whenever he was in town for work, but things didn't get serious because he said he didn't have time for a gf, he had applied for his masters in another country and didn't even live in my town so chances were small.

We decided to remain friends but didn't really talk for 6 months, and i thought ok he is done with me.
But than i found out that he had moved to my town via his fcb and he hadn't contacted me, but than after 3 weeks he reached out and wanted to meet.
When we met we went on a long walk and had an amazing time and talked about our summer and things that had happened, and it wall went back to the way things were, it was not awkward and we had a lot of fun. He by the end told me that i shouldn't hesitate contacting him and i should come over for coffe. He didn't kiss me or anything, and no sex.

Well after that day i went on 2 weeks vacation and came back and asked if he wanted to go on a bike ride, i wanted to take things at a slow paste, and be more friend type of thing, but unfortunatly he had to work that day , and said he would contact me when he had time.. but he hasn't done that yet..

Well there is 4 questions im wondering here.

He didn't try to have any sexual interaction when we met, so is that a good thing? did he respect me?

He hasn't contacted me yet.. so was he just lying?

He also told me he is leaving in December to go to middle east to work as a voulanteer for 3 months, is that why he isn't contacting me, cause we won't be able to go any further than only friends?

I am very good at the no contact and giving space. We met on a dating app, and i dont have it anymore but my friend does and i saw his profile on there, so is he not into me?

thanks for your time!


Most Helpful Guy

  • With all this information, This is only something that he can give you the answer to.

    Based on this you guys are really close which is great. His respect for you is deeply admired.

    Honestly, You need to call him and ask him. Get him to open up on whats going on.

    It sounds like he is trying to not hurt you with whatever he is hiding whether that be because he is leaving soon and as such doesn't want to get close again because that could hurt you in the process or whether it is something else. Only he can tell you and you need to get him to open up about it. Make him feel comfortable and want to be open about what is going on. Honestly the best way to do this would be for you to open up about how you are feeling about the whole situation and how unsure you are. If you make the first gesture of really opening up, he will probably follow.

    I think we are all victim to over analysis (I always over analyse) but until you look around the corner to find the answer, you will never know. You will just be standing their continuing the wonder what is around the corner and that opportunity may be lost a couple days down the track.

    I hope it all works out.

    • Thanks at the same time I don't think I can ask because we dated for a month or so and he has been in a rel for six years before. they broke up like a year ago and his ex has a kid so I feel I wasn't a serious thing. So therefore I want to just leave him alone and show him that I'm doing well by being alone

    • She just had a kid with another guy not him

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He was trying not be a horn-dog, come across as a user (re: why no sex).

    This is good, cuz it means he likes you outside of just sex.

    But, your not high on his list; when he didn't contact you when he moved to your town - that's a fail. Might be excusable, because he's going to be gone for 3 months.

    Also, he could be put off that you didn't get back to him for 2 weeks (did he know you were gone on vacation?). So, he could be covering his bases, because he feels you're not into him.

    He's not dating you, so keeping his profile up is a good move on his part.

    Sounds like you're going to have to go slow, or move it up a notch and then be celibate for at least 3 months. Plus, the out-of-country thing.

    If you want to fuck him, then tell him that. If you like him, tell him that, too. If you'd like to fuck him, till he's gone, and when he's really available you'd like to date him - then tell him that.

    • He contacted me after 3 weeks when he moved, thats bad?
      yes i told him i was going away, and he said yes to meet when i got back. what do you mean by 'hes not dating you, so keeping his profile up is a good move on his part" :) thanks

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    • I think since he did say he doesn't have time for a real rel now im going to let him have the ball and if he wants to meet im sure he can contact me, and i guess its good to just leave it for now since he is moving next month, i dont want another heartbreak, and if he is dating someone else than i guess good for him?
      i remeber he told me he liked me and how it suckd that we didn't get to spend time together few months ago, but maybe he is not dating me now because he knows he can begin liking me?

    • I just get so confused of all this :p sorry to bother u

  • He limes tkunfor more than what's between your kegs and doesn't want to hurt you knowing he's leaving. Its a good thing he doesn't want to hurt you. I did the same thing this guy did cause my girl was going off to basic and our lives were going differint ways. She ended up withba mikitry man and i liked her but I let her go.

    • autocorrect? so basically he doesn't want to hurt me so he just keeps me as his friend for now? or is he not interested?

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    • Not since I asked him to go biking and he wasn t able to. he said he would contact me when he has time to meet but its been weeks.. so him being on tinder I feel like I'm naive

    • Move on he isn't putting in the same effort I chased a girl for a year who did this. You deserve someone who wants to chase you. Theirs guys who will be more straight up.

What Girls Said 2

  • In my point of view it looks like the wind has sailed in those 6 months. As difficult as it may be. He might not want to pursue a relationship. This could be because he's leaving again, because he has no sexual interest (anymore) or a million other reasons. Please be done with him, so you don't waste more time.

  • Sounds like he isn't interested in you and is a bit of a player and using the I don't want a relationship as an excuse. The fact he had sex with you and then didn't applies he doesn't like you.