I have lost 90 pounds but still lack confidence?

I lost 90 pounds of weight to be more attractive to girls but I just can't shake off the insecurities that I had when I was fat. What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's ugly duckling "syndrome". Basically, you're used to being that heavier, less attractive person in your head even though your body is an improvement and (I assume) what you want. Improving your body, wearing clothing styles that make you feel good, and things like this CAN make a difference, but they're not going to change you entirely. They're only the springboard to getting that excitement and motivation to keep improving.

    So you need to figure out what it is that is making you insecure, you need to do what basically amounts to troubleshooting and ask yourself "what's the problem, what are ways to create setups to test the issue, and how can I fix them PERMANENTLY". I could go on all day about this or that regarding things that will help in self-improvement. But really, it all starts with some brutal honesty with yourself.

    YOU KNOW what your own issues are internally if you dig deep enough. The issue people have is that it makes them uncomfortable and vulnerable to admit this to themselves. You need to realize that confronting your issues isn't going to kill you. Yes, it will be very uncomfortable depending on your issues. No, it will not be a walk in the park. Yes, it's going to take time and effort.

    But the struggle is well worth it. If you can shape a mentality to go along with your new body, I can sincerely promise you that the high you get from this improvement will start you on a path to keep going. It's the healthiest addiction, and it feels amazing!

    • This is very good advice

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What Girls Said 3

  • what are your insecurities? list them out. think about them. identify ways to target them.

  • My boyfriend used to be overweight. He lost all the weight and was ripped and had girls heads turning, but he was still insecure. I was his best friend at the time and I told him that he has to believe in himself and I helped him gain his confidence.

    You lost 90 pounds dude! That's amazing! :) You should be very proud of yourself! I'm sure you look great! Buy a new wardrobe and dress up, get a nice haircut, put on some nice cologne and try and be confident. When you look good, you feel good. And trust me, confidence is one of the most attractive traits in a man. My boyfriend is so confident now, sometimes cocky too :P But I love it!

  • Ok tell me how u lost the 90 pounds and i will tell u have to be confident, hows that? Lol plzzzzzzz

    • Discipline

    • Eh hard

    • You also needs motivation, looking more attractive was mine

What Guys Said 1

  • Sadly thats usually the last to go, if you had it in the first place. that takes a lot of time and practice.
    You can try the "look good, feel good" rule, it works for me. Im average looking, and still have some insecurities, sometimes. but some days i shave up, get a nice haircut and lining in, suit up and go out. (mind you i take a couple of shots for the nerves first though lol)
    but in that kind of get up and knowing you look good, people can sense that and that in itself should begin to bring back some of your sense of security.

    • I've heard about that "feel good look good" theory, very interesting.

    • its Look good Feel good. and yes its real. just try it. pamper yourself and step out.. just looking in the mirror alone can boost ur esteem a lot.