How to make it work with a busy girl? (Reconsidering a relationship)?

So I’ll start at the beginning. In early August a girl I knew from highschool messaged me out of the blue and we started talking everyday. Physically seeing each other was a struggle, since she worked long hours at her job every weekday and I worked long hours lifeguarding every weekend. However, we did find time one Sunday at the end of the month to finally hang out.

2 days after that hangout, we both started school again (we commute to different colleges). We still kept talking everyday and seeing each other every Sunday, whether it was me going to her house or us going out somewhere, but that was it. School is extremely important to her, since she needs to maintain at least a 3.75 GPA to keep her scholarship money. Work isn’t that huge of an issue anymore, since she left her job to focus on school and my lifeguarding job ended for the season. However, my new job keeps me busy every Saturday night (one of the only nights she normally isn’t busy). But even when we do see each other on Sundays, she is normally studying or doing homework while I’m with her.

But the reason I’m really starting to reconsider a relationship with her, is because this is the second Sunday in a row that she has cancelled on me because she is too busy doing homework (But granted, today she was busy doing homework at her father’s house an hour away, so that is a much better excuse). Plus, the past 2 weeks I had finally talked myself into finding the courage to actually tell her how I really feel about her, and try and make our relationship official. But now with seeing how busy she is on a daily basis, I don’t even know how a relationship could work. I wanna see her as much as possible since I really really like her, but I also don’t wanna take her away from her studies because I know how important they are to her.

If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated

  • Find someone else
    Vote A
  • Stick with her, keep pushing
    Vote B
  • Stick with her, but let her come to you
    Vote C
  • I just want to see results
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is no easy answer to this, unfortunately.

    If you really want to be with her, and stick it out you might find yourself resenting the fact that she is very busy and doesn't have time to hang out with you. You'll always feel like you are on the back burner in her life. This obviously would not be a good thing for a relationship.

    If you decide to stick it out, but always leave the ball in her court when it comes to hanging out, you might find yourself resenting that as well. Every time she mentions doing anything that isn't school or work related, it'll be in the back of your mind that she could have spent that time with you instead of doing whatever it was. Trust me, I have been there, and it sucks.

    If you decide that she is too busy for a relationship right now and move on, you might find yourself always wondering what could have been had you stuck it out. But I also think you could probably find someone else that you could be happy with. This probably isn't the answer you are looking for, but to me it's the one that makes the most sense at this point. I really do believe that sometimes two people could be amazing together, but for whatever reason it's just not the right time. In those cases it's best to move on, and if it's meant to be down the road, it will be.

    Best of luck.


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What Girls Said 1

  • If you really like her then the universe will conspire to help you to get her, that's Paulo Coelho's saying I just modify it a bit but It works at least to me. I am on LDR, I'm in Jakarta and he's in Nashville but we can work it out very well until now. So if you really want her then go get her


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