21 Y/o guy need advice?

Im looking for a general opinion on my current situation. A little background info on me is that im 21, 5'9 185 lbs, and im a welder. I have my own vehicle that i restored myself as im great with cars, i fish, hunt and know how to do a lot of things most guys my age can't and im very comfortable when im alone. im extremely passionate when it comes to music and i love a good party and dancing if i have enough in me haha, in my opinion im about a 6 or 7 out of ten looks wise, and I've been told by a few women that i have great style. So by the sounds of it i shouldn't have any problems with friends or girlfriends right? Wrong. Im a kissless dateless virgin that cannot control myself around women, i get insanely nervous and anything i try to say comes out awkward, I've been told i have have high standards because i refuse to date girls that smoke or are fat (which is untrue, chubby girls can be very beautiful and sexy, sometimes moreso than an average or thin girl) as you can imagine being around a lot of older guys i get rediculed for being a virgin which i try to brush off but it does really bother me (the only friends i have are older, all of my friends from school were assholes and the friendship ended in a fistfight because people dont have respect and they seem to always want to prove something hence why i hang with older guys and my fathers friends. There have always been girls hanging off me, sometimes literally hanging off me and sitting on my lap, etc hell even my sisters friends try to get with me. But i never take it anywhere because a lot of these girls have no ambition and sleep with tons of guys. I've only ever asked teo girls out, one girl i had an amazing connection with that made my heart pound thinking about her and she turned out to be bisex and had a girlfriend, and the other kind of awkwardly shrugged me off when i asked her number and later said that I made it awkward, advice?

So summing up what you people have said i need to man up and ask more women out. So that brings me to this. I feel like a lot of women get nervous around me but im not sure if its because they are attracted to me or thinking im weird and creepy?
Like for example one night a girl asked for a ride home and i did and we had some good fun during the drive so she said a couple of days later i had a lot of fun the other night maybe you can drive me home again some other time? And i said so your saying you want me to take you home? Jokinly to test the waters and she said yes and got flustered and embarrased and i laughed and took it as mutual interest, so i said ill drive you home if you give me your number? She basically said no


Most Helpful Girl

  • This might be harsh, but you sound really judgmental and picky. You sound very confident of yourself, almost to the point of cockiness. You seem to be judging some girls before even getting to know them. You could be the most beautiful person in the world, but your attitude will make you or break you.

    • First off thanks for the honesty, and id like to say that i hope that thats not true about judging people, but i did my best to convey myself through the internet lol. I seriously would never be rude to a girl or person right off the bat, but i do judge a girls attractiveness very quickly after i meet her, bit its hard to explain, its not based on simply looks its almost more than that, its a spiritual thing that isn't religious or anything like that, its just there or its not and a girl either has it or doesnt, but not many do. So i come to ask for more advice, am i expecting too much? I mean i know very conventionally attractive girls that have said to me that a guy has never turned them down and she could believe it, this girl was very sexually attractive but i feel i need... More maybe? Is it too high of expectations? Should i just go with ahy girl in hopes that i will "grow" to like one?

    • Like most of these girls seemed very immature, needy and insecure, which most forward girls are. I want a real woman lol damn that sounds stupid but everything seems to be about material wishes, looks, the job, the car, friends, parties etc and i want something more than that but i feel like by the time women get to tgat point they are like 30 divorced 3 kids and im getting sloppy seconds lol?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Ok the problem is ur throwing a pity party for ursel and have given up. Grow up and do something about it

    • Lol did i hit a nerve or something? I dont remember ever saying im giving up, especially since i haven't started yet! Lol!

    • Show All
    • And by the way that not skulking its the truth lol

    • Idont get how that would be creepy

  • Find the one

  • You've only ever asked two girls. You don't have a problem, you just haven't asked out enough girls yet.


What Guys Said 3

  • You are not alone buddy

    I am...
    1. 20 years old
    2. I am 5'7" (short)
    3. I have been told by strangers I look like a body builder that can protect my family one day (weird, I know)
    4. Girls have rated me anywhere from above average to hot
    5. I go to the gym and weightlift
    6. I am an EMT with the fire dept
    7. I am also a virgin, a super virgin that is. I never touched a girl sexually in my life, which also includes fingering and oral
    8. I also have very high standards
    My girl must be...
    -a virgin
    -not fat
    -good personality
    (Talk about finding a needle in the haystack)

  • I think you will have to make compromises at some point. Obviously you have an image that you would like your girl to look like and how she should act but if a relationship is what you're looking for you should just give it a chance. If you;ve never kissed a girl and never had sex you're going to be a bit awkward around females. That's pretty normal. Just don't approach every interaction with a woman like it's life or death. If she doesn't like you then that's not someone you would want to spend time with anyway.

  • Join a large church and volenteer on some projects where you help the less fortunate and in giving you will find what you are looking for.

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