I feel horrible because I meat a great girl but still keep thinking about my ex?

Ok so me and my ex broke up in a really bad way. Thing is we both had feelings for each other but she complicated stuff and broke up with me. I still miss her and keep hoping she'd come back and if my intuition is right and if I'm reading the signs right she still has feelings for me. But because we had so much bad stuff between us she's apprehensive about doing anything even though she tried a couple of times and I think it was really hard for her.
The thing is I meat a girl and we get along great I'm attracted to her and I like spending time with her and she apparently is into me also. We haven't defined anything yet because it's too early but we have a great time together but on the other hand I feel bad because I keep thinking about my ex and hoping she'd make a move but at the same time keep wanting something not to happen because I'd have a really big problem.
Thing is I feel good with this girl but I remember how things were with my ex and they were great and it never felt like that before and I keep missing her. I feel horrible because me and my ex it was perfect most of the time just her complicating screwed it up but with this one I just don't know yet.
The only thing I can come up with is to just leave this stuff alone and not think about it too much and just go with the flow and see where life takes me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • so apparently you haven't come to the terms with your ex. i am definitely feeling what u experience cuz i am experiencing the same thing. message me if you want.
    so long story short, i want to tell you that please do not date anyone until u really turn the page from this chapter of your life. your heart (and my heart too) tells me that u ll get back cuz it wants that way it is not intuition. without knowing the background of your relationship, i can tell you that you wouldn't bu in the first place if u r meant to be together. there are really few people getting back together and stronger after bu and ur odds r really low u ll (and i ll) get back with my ex. start from this point by accepting that u r not be together. otherwise u cannot continue to the other stages.. acceptance is really important. when u feel something or remember how things were with her, just journal. and keep that journal as in word maybe.. maybe by the time u will notice that u need to actually talk to her one last time about everything to be able to move on... do not look for answers why you broke up.. and do not even ask her if u ever talk. this doesn't help but cause pain.. i have many things to write honestly but dont wanna leave you with wall of writing.

    really all u need is acceptance.. otherwise u ll never move on and ur heart will mislead you always telling you that u ll be with her someday.. but that some day highly likely will never come your best choice is to not date someone to not hurt her feelings or not prevent something that might be actually a good relationship in your healthy time (as love-wise heartache and healing-wise)
    hope that helps.

    • Hi. I'm sorry it took a little longer to reply but I had a super busy couple of days. Well the good news is that I don't have to worry about the new girl because we had a really long talk about things and she told me she'd like us to take things easy and that she's not looking for anything serious right now. We're still going to keep seeing each other and having fun. But I want to figure out a way how I can get my ex back. I don't know I think she might be a little angry at me because I keep ignoring her advances but at the same time I don't want her to stop because I want her to make a big step forward and contact me. But I'm not sure how to accomplish this.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • haha u have no idea how much this story sounds like my ex wiv me he's wiv a new girl he's still in love wiv me n all that jazz id just let it be she's ur ex for a reason ur always gunna care for her but these things happen for a reason so just go with the flow if ur meant to be with ur ex thins will work out if not they won't

    • You're right to a point. Yes she's an ex for a reason the reason is she had some problems with her self because of stuff in her life. She wanted us to be together but in staid of letting her self feel she went with what was expected of her and thought whats he should do. We were always happy together but when she broke up with me I was hurt and tried to get her buck and we got into a huge fight and made things tough for both of us and here also lies the problem for not being able to get back in contact. I know I still have feelings for her but I'm also having a nice time with this new girl. So I guess I'll just let things happen all by themselves and see where it takes me.

  • If I was you, I'd go with the flow and see where things lead with this new girl. If your ex comes back at some point and you're single, then great you can hit it off again.

    • Thanks. Yeah that's basically the only thing I can do just see where things lead me. The thing that keeps bugging me is that my ex is going to want to get back together and what not just at the wrong moment screwing everything up again for me because I'll be unhappy again wondering what I should do and that I could be with her but if I don't I'll keep wondering what if. But I'll deal if and when needed.

  • It sounds to me like you are still in love with your ex. At this point I would not get involved with this new girl at all. If it seems like your ex is going to want to get back together, how would it make the girl that you are seeing feel? Idk, maybe you and your ex still have things to work out.

    • Yeah we definitely have things to work out with my ex because we never worked anything out she just walked out on me on us. We were going out and dating for a couple of months but it was never official but then we just started official and she got scared or something and one day just dropped out of my life didn't even tell me to my face but just left. I know I still have feelings for her and probably will always have feelings for her she was I don't know I can't describe it but it was just wow. But I can't just put my life on hold because she's confused and waiting for her. I like this new girl and it's nice being with her and yeah I realize if my ex were to start trying to come back it would suck that's why I feel horrible right now because I can't figure out how to handle it. Right now I don't need to because it's not complicated yet.

    • Show All
    • Well it's getting a bit tough with everything going on. I mean my ex came back like she wants to spend time together but still has some problems but wants to take it slow. We even went to the movies and went to an event with all our acquaintances there witch produced a lot of weird looks since they knew we were avoiding each other. While it's really great and I love every moment of it the new girl was a little sad a couple of days ago and we hung out together and it was really great she also cuddled with me and we had a great time together too. While she seems to like being with me and being intimate with me also as do both of them the new girl keeps saying she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't show it publicly but she was about a week ago. They both know about each other because I was open about it and they seem to want to go slow.
      I can't seem to make up my mind with witch one I like spending time more very weird.

    • Well I guess you wouldn't still be pursuing your ex if you didn't want things to work out. You're going to places now with mutual friends so by doing that you're just telling everyone that you are back together.

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think you're ready to date anyone. You should probably consider ending things with this new girl before she gets serious feelings for you.

    • You have a point there. But on the other hand I like her and I don't want to throw away something hurt her just because I'm having some problems with skeletons in my closet.

    • I understand, it kinda sounds like you're in a bit of limbo, sort of transitioning out of one thing and transitioning into another all at the same time.

      Let me ask you, if your ex came back to you today would you get back together with her?

    • I can honestly say I don't know. On one hand right now when I think about it it makes me mad and I'd tell her no I'm sorry you had your chance and I have somebody who actually cares about me now but on the other hand then I have this image of her walking away and of me losing her and never being able to be with her and it starts to hurt in my chest because I remember how happy I was when I could just hold her near. Then again I start thinking about the new girl and how great she is and how much I like her. But I just don't feel the same way I don't know how to explain it. Yeah limbo is the correct word.