He dumped me but seems to be having a harder time than I am?

He dumped/rejected me after kissing me. We were bestfriends and pretty much like a couple from the beginning. He did everything for me etc. Either way, at one point he said he couldn't pursue it further and said some slightly insensitive things but still wanted to remain friends. I said I didn't want to because I did feel more and then he said he respected it since he wants me to be happy (blabla). I saw him yesterday at my brother's party (after a month of no contact). Many people said he was looking lost and confused and generally unhappy. Also, I assumed he dumped me so we had no reason to talk unless i would choose to act needy and emotional. But i have lost weight, wore a nice dress and was generally very happy and socialising with my friends. A few people noticed him lingering around me, wantinf to talk. I brushed it off and said he didn't talk to me. I however did ask him how he was etc since I didn't want to be rude but I wasn't too friendly either. I don't understand why he is having a harder time and wanted to talk to me so badly if he was the one who rejected me. He hasn't messaged me though so then it really doesn't make sense. Any thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • well the only proof you have is that he looked down at the party. it doesn't mean that all the time outside of the party he isn't fine. I think he probably felt a bit awkward, probably down that someone who was once his "best friend" was in the same place as him and yet there was no conversation or relationship so to speak.

    I wouldn't go so far to project (based on people's perceptions) that he is struggling.

    • Thank you:), perhaps I am reading too much into it. He would have gotten in touch with me if there was something more. It probably was just awkwardness

    • I think you were right, since he didn't message me. Meaning he is doing fine without me, just perhaps felt awkward. Thank you!

    • no problem. thanks for MH

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think he's second guessing himself. Or he feels hurt that you didn't want to stay friends even though he broke up with you

    • Would a guy seriously be so unrealistic? How can we be friends if he dumped me..

    • He just doesn't see you the same way as you! Not saying either one of you is right or wrong just different

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