How do you get over your fears and tell someone that you really like them?

I have a crush on a guy at my university. I like him a lot, he is different from other guys that I have encountered. I love his personality and he seems like such a cool and interesting person. I've hung out with him a couple times and I see him at the University sometimes. We've known each other for almost 4 months now. I was intimate with him one time but we still talk and hung out with each other afterwards. He hasn't just "disappear". He has really good qualities. He's kind, peaceful, he loves nature and the Earth, he loves his family he's motivated, hardworking and more. I would love to date him. I want to tell him that I like him but there are things holding me back that I don't know if I can get over. He seems like a really interesting guy who has cool hobbies and has had cool experiences in his life. We have things in common and we get along well but he has did things that I never experienced before, things I would love to do. I guess I see him as out of my league. I try not to think negative but I often think why tell him that I like him, he probably likes one of the girls in his yoga class or a girl at the university and finds them more interesting and fun. I've also had bad experiences with other guys. I would tell them that I like them and they would just want to use me for sex or they didn't like me. They would just disappear after I stated how I felt. I would end up hurt.. I guess I'm afraid to tell this guy that I like him because I'm afraid of being rejected again. It seems like I can't find anyone who is interested in me and it seems like guys just don't like me. I'm kind and fun, smart and I think I'm attractive, but I'm never cocky. I see myself as the girl next door and just like everyone else. Sometimes it makes me sad to think about it. I really like this guy and he seems so compatible and he's different from other guys I have encountered but I think my fears are going to hold me back from telling him. How do you get over your fears?


Most Helpful Guy

  • its always funny when a girl gets put in the shoes of a guy. how about you do the same thing we do eh. how about you spend days/weeks to muster up the courage and plan your speech and approach meanwhile knowing that you may be shot down. Thats always fun. I may be putting it hilariously, but seriously, thats what you gotta do. after a long time of planning, and dampening your fears, you walk up and let him know you like him, knowing full well he may friend zone your ass.

    • I don't know why you're coming off kind of rude or mean. Maybe you went through some bad experiences but that isn't a reason to talk like that to others. And I don't see how it's funny to see a girl put in the shoes of a guy. Girls and guys both equally go through rejection and have fears. But ok, thanks for your comment.

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    • I see. So guys want a relationship only when they're ready? So in that case females shouldn't tell them that they like a guy first? The guy should do all the chasing? And ok, cool. I can email you after I get out of classes. =)

    • do that. get outta class... come into MY class lol.

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What Guys Said 2

  • How is he out of your league if you've slept with him already?

    Look at it this way. You are currently not dating him. If you ask him out and he rejects you, you are not dating him. So the end result is the same for your life. You have nothing to lose.

    • Yea I did sleep with him already but I know people look at sex as just sex sometimes. I meant out of my league relationship wise... Like I kind of feel like he wouldn't want to date me. But I see what you are saying.

  • Just think that the "pain of fear" is far less than the "pain of regret."


What Girls Said 1

  • Take a risk and tell him how you feel, what can you lose?
    All girls have the same problem, the difference is how we confront it... I always ask myself if this guy is worthy of my time, if he's just using me for fun etc. and usually tell him how i feel, because i don't want to spend time on someone who doesn't feel the same about me as i feel about him and if he's not into me... well I feel sad and depressed but much better too, because I know I gave everything of my chest, i didn't lose anything and i can move on... and hey, he will most likely forget about all of these, and you could probably still be friends with him after some time
    or you can keep your emotions inside of you, but you probably won't feel any better
    first try to hang out with him more to see how things will go between you two and if they don't change tell him, but be prepared on any kind of response (better something than nothing) :D

    • That's true. Maybe I should hang out with him a few more times before I tell him and just see how it goes. =) Thank you for your advice.

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