I made a relationship mistake, what do I do?

I'd like to start with - sorry, this is going to be a long one. If you can muster the abilities to make it through and give me some NON-sugar coated advice, then I'm thanking you already.

I have never been in love before, until now. I'm old enough and been through enough relationships to know exactly what I want. The love word is not something I throw around. I've only said it to one other person and I meant it then, but I mean it so much more now.
I can honestly say that I have met the love of my life. The thought of him gives me butterflies and it's like the butterflies have lots of sex and my belly and make more butterflies when I get to hold his hand. He's the one. But I did something really stupid. I didn't think it was stupid at the time. His career has just lifted off. He's gotten busy. I mean, won't talk to me at all busy. I tried telling him i don't enjoy the whole making me last priority thing. Two weeks later, nothing changed. As a matter of fact, he went out with his friends one night. He didn't call, text, nothing. Now, I am not a girl who gets upset if her man wants to go out. He has a stressful life right now, go out! please! Have fun. Damn, could you say SOMETHING to me? anything?
Well, I got really upset about it. At this point, he's still responding with nothing. So I just ended it. His only response, and his only response since then, is that he will talk to me after he's done with the stuff he's busy with. Like i said, 3 weeks of stuff that apparently takes up so much of his time, he can't say hi. (but can go out). In the mist of the breakup, or whatever it was, he just told me he has one thing on his mind. what he's doing with work.
I know how happy I was before. How happy we were. So, i texted him that night saying I would just wait till he's done. I'll be here when he's done. I put my feelings and desires to repair the now relationshit, back into a relationship. He said nothing. I texted him something sweet, nothing.
Is he done?


Is he done? Did I ruin it? He won't speak to me - but updates Facebook, etc. I think I have absolutely ruined things and I am heartbroken over it.
Advice! GO!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Relax, sweetie, help is here.. I will not 'Sugar coat' anything, however will give you a few lessons in love that you can perhaps learn by here.
    Being you love him so much, he is your everything, First love and all, if you both are Not Exclusive, not Official and he is right in the middle of his career that he is trying so hard to get off the ground, you stepped over your boundaries with Him-----I tried telling him I don't enjoy the whole making me last priority thing... this is the whole crux of the matter in a nut shell.
    With just starting out in his newbie life, he doesn't want to get tied down to anyone, answer to anyone Nor be hooked at he hip at this moment. This is the reason for putting you on his pay no mind list and making his buds More of a First choice and you like this Trophy wife Thing. And with you speaking your mind, it aggravated him to no end and this is Why it has led up to at the this point in time.
    All you can right now, is wait for him to respond to you, should he get over his hissy fit. I realize you are heartbroken, you love him so much but trying to chase him, in any way, shape or form will only make hm run faster and Not come back any sooner.
    He now has you pegged as this clingy girl, somethinsimple, who loves him more than life itself an it is scaring him. He is not ready for Big time Romance and if you both ever get the chance to sit down and have serious convo, you both need to come to some sort of compromise of how this Love that may have gone wrong now, can stay in the Right direction until further notice.
    good luck. xx

    • Well, he's told me things that make it seem as if he wants me in his future. Moving in together and even marriage. (he saw that it freaked me out... so he mellowed out on that)

      I'm just confused. How do you go from loving someone one day, to not the next?

    • Simple... he may have had a change of heart, got another impression and ow a sour ball.. it happens all the time. xx

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What Guys Said 2

  • To be honest I'm not quite sure what to advise because of how you feel towards him but I really find what he did a really dick move. Personally, even if life was like straight shitting on me 24/7 and I was under constant stress, I'd find the time of day to give as much attention as possible to my girl and there are no exceptions to that.

    There are a lot of possibilities but I don't think it's anything you did but the way he is. He finds his career more important and probably doesn't want to be held down in a relationship. You don't seem to clingy and I don't think you did anything really "wrong" so I guess just wait for him to do something. Shitty situation to be in and I feel for you. :/

    • It's good to know that I'm not being crazy about this. It just really, really sucks. I guess If I was what he really wanted, he'd make the effort. He's stopped with the efforts, so I guess I'm not what he really wants. Knowing that, doesn't make the hurt go away. This whole "not being wanted" feeling is the worst feeling.

    • Yeah I know the feeling. I really hope this all gets cleared up for you soon and (hopefully) works out well :/ I'm not sure what I can say but I've been in tough moments like that and I do know how you feel.

      It's hard to recommend something in a tough situation like this as I don't know much about your position but if you think it's really worth trying to save I'd go for it. This isn't really close or nearly as bad but there's this one really stunning girl that I like who I really like but she doesn't even notice me or care really but for some reason every day I still try and try to get her attention and I don't know why. I just have a feeling that I believe this is worth it and I'll put in as much effort as possible. I know it's a crappy comparison but I just wanted to show how I think about things and when to pursue someone and when to just let it go. I really hope this works out for you.

  • I'm 25, and can't fall in love, how in the world are you old enough, when I'm older than you?

    • Haha, I'm 25. I put my birthday in wrong - intentionally. This is advice? no bueno!

    • Oh, you're welcome

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