What's the best way to show a guy you are "high value" and don't "need" him?

I think I may have come across needy with this guy and it's making him pull away from the considering a relationship. he seems to still be interested and want to go out, but I think he feels like i'm pressuring him, he just got out of his first relationship, and I don't know how to back track my actions. I haven't done anything severe or anything, I guess just made very clear how I feel and that I want to see him more, but I think that sounded to him like I was moving really fast. how can I back track without acting bitchy or fake? I know he's into me, but it feels like now that he knows he "has" me he's become less interested. he's called me beautiful before, very seriously, so I think he knows I can easily get another guy, but I think he still thinks I'm clingy and I want to erase that. some advice?

  • back off and start saying you're busy when he asks to see you
    Vote A
  • tell him you're actually not sure how you feel
    Vote B
  • tell him you're seeing some one else you might have to leave him to get serious with
    Vote C
  • other, please explain!
    Vote D
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btw, is it possible to change is view of me so that he winds up wanting more?


Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 8

  • Tell him that what you said before was based more on emotion than rationality, and that you've cooled down a bit now and want to take things at a slower pace to make sure you guys are realistically compatible, emotions aside. You might even recommend taking a brief "intercession" from talking or seeing each other to get head together.

    I think that would be a good way to show him you want to slow down and let him lead at his own pace without being too manipulative or insincere, especially if there is anyway for you to express those words with some honesty.

    • thank you!

    • Oh my gosh!!! "To get ***YOUR*** head together".

      So glad I called that before anyone else called me out.

    • hahahahah

  • stay true to yourself and focus on your goals.

  • Neediness isn't a problem. Clinginess is. What's the difference? Neediness is what you feel inside. Clingy is a behaviour.

    The 'high value' / 'low value' thing doesn't matter at all to a guy.

    The reason that clinginess is a turn-off is that it makes us men feel pressured and hounded.

  • This makes no sense. If he doesn't reciprocate, ditch his ass.

    • he does reciprocate, obviously, but he told me he feels pressured

    • Show All
    • thanks :)

  • break up with him befre he breaks up with you. i hate needy girls. there is no way to change this

  • Be valuable to him. Being absent or dating other men makes you less valuable.

    • so how do I show him my "value"?

    • because as shallow as it sounds being absent and dating other men does kind of signal the whole value factor whether guys admit it or not

    • Be what he needs. Every guy is looking for different things. That's why you get to know someone, to see if you're what they need and they're what you need. If they are, it digs all up in your heart and you see how they make your life better. You value them and don't want to lose them... It takes time, patiences, and generaly a little humility.

  • People view needy in the wrong way, IMO... but, that's just me. The best way to go about living your life, without him... is living your life without him. If you have revenge on your mind... it'll only come back to haunt you. It's immature and downright illegal in most cases

    • illegal? I don't know what you mean by that, and I never mentioned revenge but ok...

    • Show All
    • I'm just sayin' people do some pretty nasty shit when it comes to breakups and "revenge"

    • I never said we are broken up (we are NOT broken up) and saying "nasty shit" to him wouldn't make any sense because I'm trying to fix the relationship, did you even read the question?

  • Asking this question says to me you're not high value

    • and answering this question says to me you're a jerk

    • Show All
    • I get picked on? I can't believe these are the words of some one who is supposed to be an adult, and those were not typos, those were straight up misspelled words and it's easy to tell. I have plenty of friends, there's no way you could possibly know that I "have no friends" so that's ridiculous. I am quick to defend myself, not quick to insult, you're the one that insulted me for absolutely no reason but to be an insecure bully. happy people offer advice, miserable people say things like you said in your comment, so I know I'm already better than you because I don't insult people for no reason. You're more successful than I'll ever be? that's pretty presumptuous considering you don't even know who I am, and judging by your knowledge of spelling and vocabulary you may not have even graduated high school. Bringing up whether or not guys chase me? again do you have any evidence of this? you're making things up and hoping they're true, I'm sorry that they're not, so good bye.

    • Presumptuous is exactly what all your previous comments about me have been. You say I know nothing about you. Then how can you know anything about me. Thanks for contradicting yourself and proving my point. You're blind if you can't see those were typos. It's easy to hit the wrong key while typing. You say goodbye, yet you keep replying due to your insecurities trying to come up with some kind of feeble retaliation! Your statement quotes "he's become less interested. " He must be getting to know the small minded, antagonist attitude you have leading him to back off. In other words he sees you without your mask now. Like I said before I feel sorry for you.

What Girls Said 2

  • NO. No no no no no no no no no.

    You. We're honest with him. That is neither irrational or needy. It's being reasonable and independent. You communicated genuinely which allows fir clarity and without asking permission whifhvuscegwtvsecure non needy people do.

    The fact you want to recant everything and apologize for your openeds us irrational insecure and it's going to make younger like shit.

    You don't change who you are to fit a relationship. You change a relationship to fit who you are.

    If you can't be honest with this guy without eliciting the prick in him that reflects poorly in him not on you.

    If you can't keep his intret without games then your relationship is an illusion.

    You were honest that's vsluable if he doesn't appreciate it, he's not going to ever be a good bf no matter how much he lusts after you.

  • None of the above.

    Just sit back and relax. Let him do all the work.

    You got into this situation by doing wayy too much. Don't make that mistake again. Don't pretend to be busy when you're not, don't talk to him about your feelings, don't lie and tell him you're seeing someone else.

    Just sit down, drink yourself a big cup of tea, and wait for him to call you and ask you out. When he asks you out hang out with him have fun go on a date whatever. Just don't put too much work or thought into it.

    Be chill ok? Let him do all the work. You just sit back and enjoy it.

    You want to know how to show him you're high value and don't need him? Act like you're high value and don't need him. If he calls you that's cool. If he doesn't that's cool too. Just act like you're gonna continue on your every day life either way because you are. This is different from pretending to be busy. If he asks you ok you'll say "ok sure" and act nonchalant. You aren't overly happy that he asked you out, but you aren't making extra space in your schedule either you get it? Just be normal

    • this is helpful thank you

    • I hope you choose MHO as a joke. If you do that he's just gonna think you're crazy and be glad that you're gone and that he didn't go down that path with you

    • sorry, what? MHO?

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