How do I get him to put some effort in without saying it outright?

Basically, I have gone overseas for 3 months & was exclusively dating a guy when I left. This had been a long time coming & I'm in love with him.

He's very difficult to handle because one second he will be super cute & the next no emotion. When I left we decided we weren't ready to become official & we decided to stop being exclusive for the time being.

We have pretty much spoken everyday via FB messenger or Snapchat. Last we he went through this moment of being really cute saying all these things we were going to do when i got back, how he missed me etc. etc. then it started to feel like a struggle to get him to talk.

We Skyped yesterday for an hour. it was amazing, he said how much he missed me & i could see how much he liked me. He still sends hearts & x's & things.

It's tricky because I know he likes me a lot, he's said so. But he communicates differently to me & I struggle when I can't see it plainly in front of me. I'm also scared that he'll get over me.

Should I give him some space & see if he actually makes any of the effort for once?
How do I stop worrying?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Take his word for it. If you can't do that then that's your problem. Sometimes guys just feel like fags for putting forward too much effort or being too "cute" as you call it... so they retract.

    Could be a ton of things gong on in his brain... I mean, you're still overseas for one. Maybe he's thinking that he shouldn't scare you off by being "scary cute" if you know what I mean. I think you just need to relax and consider these things, and maybe more, because I obviously didn't include EVERYTHING he could possibly be thinking of. Try to think from his perspective and not only yours... and you know what I'm talking about.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • There is no easy answer. Just stay in contact best you can till you get back together. If it is going to be a long haul, maybe better to go separate ways unless bot of you can really commit to each other and wait it out.


What Girls Said 1

  • Its hard not to stop worrying, but at least dont let him see that you are worried. If he tells you that he misse you and that he cares, take it at face value enjoy and dont expect more from him. I think that giving him space is a wise idea. If it annoys you and scares you when he is not in contact, dont fret and go out and do something fun with friends.