What do you do to maintain dignity, when you ask someone out and they react badly? I dont mean saying no. I mean being rude?

making a big deal out of it and being shitty towards you. not insulting you necessarily but just exaggerating things and trying to make you asking seem crazy.

what do or what would you do in that circumstance to walk away with dignity.

especially in the case where its someone who liked you... you were friendly and you in no way expected their reaction and you're going to see them again bc you run in same circles and have class with them.

i dont mind rejection , its the way it was don. completely unnecessary,. I've lost respect and dont want to talk but he keeps trying to talk to me. dk what to do bc the whole thing is just awkward and he's an idiot for not getting how disrespectful that was.

what would you do if that same person kept trying to talk to you?
surprised more guys aren't answering this. they are always complaining of nasty rejections... maybe it bothers them bc if it happens to women too they can't claim its a unique challenge they go through bc women are evil. women have to deal with it as well. its just what happens when you ask people out. it doesn't happen bc a guy is asking a woman. happens when womb ask men as well.. some people just suck lol


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't know what his problem is. As a guy, you get used to it. Doesn't sound like he gets out much.

    • lol it was odd certainly not expected. thanks for making me laugh.

      so when it happens to you just walk away. and would you talk to her again after that just not ever ask her out again?

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    • Well it sounds like you handled yourself really well. Based on your description, I don't think there is anything I would have done differently. Still be polite when they try to talk to you, but make it clear that you are uninterested in conversation, they'll eventually understand to stop trying.

    • thats what I'm doing. he's just being a tool.. or he gets it but thinks he can do w/e he wants and there's no consequence.
      thanks ; )

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What Guys Said 4

  • I'd most likely find the humor in it. I have a weird sense of humor, I find someone insulting me, or trying to insult me, to be funny. I've had some good laughs over rejections, makes for a good story to tell your friends if the girl goes over the top to lol.

    • yeah there's that too. i was waiting or someone to answer that way. i think this is probably the healthiest of responses bc you're not bottling up bad feelings pretending not to care you're also not losing it. you're genuinely just finding it amusing.

      what if she's already one of your friends?

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    • oh i see. hmm yeah it'd be easy to be friends with someone if they reject me nicely. just makes it confusing when they get upset. bc it males no sense. not even like he said no. i mean thastd be the simplest thing to do. say no.

      lol howdy she try to make you feel better. i try to avoid that bc it seems condescending.

      why do you think she's out of your league?

    • The only negative reactions I've gotten is from girls I approached at random. But as for my friend, the next day she gave me the 'ole "You're a good a guy but..." Along with other things, but that only lasted like a few days. I would reply with remarks like "It's ok, it was stupid of me to think you liked ugly dudes" I said it sarcastically of course. Just basically had fun accusing her of being really shallow lol. She is out of my league though, she's pretty damn hot.

  • Acting badly, would imply that they're saying no, it's just that the person saying no, is not handling the rejecting very well

    • no. acting basely means they are being rude. you can say no politely. in this particular case they never said no just acted badly.

      you can say no badly or properly no neither means good behavior nor bad.

      i like people saying no when you ask them out bc its clear and when dine calmly its respectful.

      in this instance there was not a no. just bad behavior.

      this why i asked how you react to bad behavior. not how you react to being told no.

  • Well this is pretty standard stuff for guys. We just get used to it and suck it up. So should you.

    • im not asking for advice. I'm asking what you do. sucking it up isn't a description. its a platitude.

      a friend yells at you for asking her out. you 'suck it up' meaning talk to her as if nothing happened?

      obviously of this were just some guy it wouldn't be much of a question. but if you're friends with someone i not believe you just keep talking to them. Or are your friends customarily rude to you? if so you should get new friends.

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    • Your complaint is one men have faced forever and women as a rule have had no sympathy about it.

      Now that a few women are actually experiencing the same thing, they expect men to have sympathy and offer words of wisdom? Sorry...

    • wow you're really thick headed.

      first of all as i said im never rude to anyone asking me out so you're being completely irrational holding a grudge towards me on that. im always careful to be very respectful interested or not bc i know it takes courage.

      second im not asking fir sympathy or wisdom i just want to know LITERALLY what you do. im interested psychologically. how human being deal similarly and differently with things.

      from the sounds of it i dealt with this in pretty much the way everyone says they do or would. so we all seem to have a similar sense about how to best handle a situation. doesn't mean its right or wrong but so far seems popular.

      you won't tell me what sucking it up means. i can guess it means not caring which im sure you get annoyed but you're saying you act like it doesn't bother you. ok ill buy it.

      now if she's a friend what do you do? pretend every things ok , or just stop talking?

  • I shrug and carry on. It doesn't upset me.

    • im not asking how not to be upset. I'm asking what you physically do.

      so you dont say anything. you literally shrug and walk away.

      and what do you do when you see them the nxt time?

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    • so i asked. and you got defensive which suggests to me i bothers you for w/. e reason.

      if you dont want o answer something then dont. its not for you to decide what other people should care org not care about. its not as if i was hiding what the question was or what aspect of it i was interested in. if you dont want to play then stay home.

    • I see...

What Girls Said 4

  • Curse him out and never speak to him again.

    • lol yeah there's always that option.. i think its the healthiest and most honest, so far ;-)

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    • lol i can respect that. i can't really let people know I'm upset i usually just become very stoic but i think id be a lot more relaxed if i could just get pissed let them know then toss the memory in the garbage:)

    • exactly lol

  • Just say: oh okay :) and walk away as if it was a relief that I got rejected.

    • well at that point kind of is bc the idea of going out with someone like that isn't appealing... but what do you when you see him again and he tries talking as if everything is normal.

    • The best thing to do is to be polite, still answer him and so on but I wouldn't be as before. I mean I wouldn't try to ignore him etc. I would answer him but I wouldn't bother approaching him first.

    • yeah probably how it'll go.

      thanks :)

  • Be polite but distant. He's shown that he's a jerk and an idiot, and I bet you're better than that. Don't be mean or rude back to him, but you can still make it clear that you don't want to talk anymore by keeping your distance (don't share any personal details, don't get into long conversations, limit all talking to small talk). Almost as if you're talking to a stranger.

    If you really want to confront him, do it very calmly and don't make a scene. Keep it short, clear, and civil. Personally, I'd skip over the confrontation. Most people don't need that to realize they've done something wrong, and it's very easy to get more mad than intended when you confront people.

    Sorry you have to deal with this. It sounds frustrating, but I'm glad you want to maintain dignity!

    • oh i would never make a scened. he's done enough off that for the two of us.. really in the middle of campus. and yeah i dont talk to him as a friend anymore but he keeps trying to. so I'm questing he even gets how inappropriate he was. like he doesn't seen to get he was a dick and I'm done. when it happened i looked at him cal my and disapprovingly and he apologized so i thought he understood but apparently not.


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    • No problem. :) And I just want to say that I think it's great how you're dealing with the situation. A lot of other people would probably be reacting really immaturely, but you sound like you're reacting well!

    • thank you very much:)

  • I would just stay polite and casual, but distance myself. Don't completely ignore or avoid him, because all that tells him is that you were affected by what he said. Just pay him less attention and talk to other people instead.

    • well he was rude. i dont think its horrible of he knows i lost respect for him. I'm not trying to make him think it doesn't bother me. it was wrong and we were friends and he was being a little shit. i won't ignore him but i'll likely avoid being around him. or maybe ill tell him i think he was incredibly disrespectful then ill stop talking, I don't know ill see.

      but thanks for your opinion:)

    • Oh okay. Yeah, guess that works too. No problem, and good luck.

    • thank you:)