Casual dating: Do you do it? Do you like it? How does it work best? Do you not like it? How did it fail? Can you transition to a committed one?

Someone told me that they felt there should be a difference between dating and a committed relationship (use to be called "going steady"). The thought is that you can date multiple people at the same time - not get too attached if someone doesn't work out, yet still be able to transition from that to a committed relationship when the feeling was mutual and the timing was right. If you are dating more than one person at the same time, can you keep things straight - who you told what? What they told you? If you decided you wanted to be in a committed relationship, would it be hard to leave the diversity of dating behind? Would it be hard to commit to one person that remembers more about you than you do about them?

  • Casual dating makes sense when looking for someone, but not after the first X (tell us what this number is) number of dates.
    Vote A
  • Casual dating makes sense. Dating one person at a time doesn't.
    Vote B
  • I'm not for casual dating.
    Vote C
  • Just show me the results.
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think what you're talking about is what younger people these days call "talking"

    I think older people call this stage "dating" and "courting" which is completely different to what kids these days (or you know at least people I interact with) call "dating".

    You can "talk" to more than one person at a time and it's not confusing and doesn't really cause any problems whatsoever. You can learn information about multiple friends and keep that information separate right? It's the same way with people you have romantic relationships as well. It doesn't really get jumbled unless you're talking to like 30 people or something crazy like that which could obviously be a problem, but that's also kind of a ridiculous thing to do.

    You can "talk" to somebody for as long as you want. There's no upper limit on it. Sometimes you talk to someone for 2 weeks before you start dating them exclusively and sometimes you can talk to someone on and off for years (have sex with them and everything) and never make anything official of it.

    There are some people that never enter into committed relationships and some people that only "talk" to one person at a time until they feel like they know them well enough to become exclusive. It varies and it really depends on the people in context and their goals in the particular point in their lives more than anything.

    • Thanks, that's definitely new to me. ... I do find urban dictionary definition 10 interesting:

      Talking is a complicated form of a relationship in which two people often enjoy each others company and engage in sexual relations with out commitment. it is considered to be more serious than friends with benefits, because in certain rare instances 'talking' can lead to a relationship, where as just 'hooking up' never does. HOWEVER talking very rarely results in a long term monogamous relationship...

    • With Urban Dictionary usually the further down the definition is the further it is from the truth since anybody can write in definitions...

      BUT that's not to say that in that particular writer's area that's not the case. Where *I'm* from however talking usually ends up leading to dating, but that's kinda the problem with slang. Definitions of words vary slightly from location to location

    • (c: Okay. Either way, I'd never heard the term. Thanks for educating me. It does seem that "talking" is approximately the same as casual dating. I suppose it depends not the person as to how good they keep track of the facts in their "conversations" \c: ... but that might be a function of how long they take to decide to go from talking to dating and how man people they are talking with at the same time.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Until you agree to be exclusive, you should be aware and accepting of the fact that they might be dating other people too.

    Making the transition to a committed relationship isn't too bad, that means you like the other person enough to want to be with them and just them.

    • Ah, but is there some upper time limit or dating limit? 10 dates? 100 dates? Four weeks? Four months?

    • For when it becomes serious and not casual any more? It really depends on the two of you. Ten dates sounds like a good rule of thumb, I guess.

    • That seems very reasonable.

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