My boyfriend made me upset on my birthday. Was I overreacting?

A few nights ago, my boyfriend took me out to dinner for my 30th birthday. We went to a fancy restaurant at his museum workplace. While it was expensive, he gets a good deal there since he is an employee. It was really nice of him though.

The problem was that all night he kept whining about things in his life that I struggle with more. On top of that, my aunt died just a few days prior and I was, and still am, grieving. It also made me really sad because it left my two younger cousins without parents. He didn’t seem to be happy that I was sad about that.

My bf, who makes 40K a year, was lamenting that he wasn’t get paid 10k more, so he could have more spending money. But he disregarded the fact that I have disability that causes me to have seizures everyday. I work as much as I can until a seizure hits. I never call in sick and I work hard. I make fewer than 10k a year since I am too disabled and hearing him complain that he didn’t have more disposable income of that amount made me feel like shit. All I want is to have money to survive. And that day I had had a seizure at work and had to leave early, causing me to lose more money. I’m scared I can’t pay rent and my boyfriend won’t help me or support me emotionally about it.

Then he goes on about how his female friend’s dog died and how sad that was, without being sympathetic to my current loss—not at any point in the night. I lost a family member. His friend lost her stupid dog. I think he just wants her and wasn’t caring about my feelings.

Then he was showing off his expensive new coat that his mom bought him. The fancy one he bought last year didn’t look good enough on him. I wear an old tattered coat I’ve had for the last 3 years. I wish he would have offered me the coat he doesn’t want.

On the way to his place I started having a panic attack and was having scary suicidal thought. I was crying.

He got mad at me when I told him why I was crying. Then the day of the funeral he wouldn’t talk to me and just texted me “ I hope you are ok”. He got annoyed when I asked if I could call him when I got back from the funeral because it was too late. He is hardly talking to me right now. I guess I ruined the date we had and was making him out to be a bad guy.

Maybe I am overreacting? Was I being unreasonable or am I justified to be mad?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You definetely have the right to be upset. Its not right to complain about things especially on your birthday, but I do think you guys should share your perspectives and try to work things out (:


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds like you both need counseling yes he should be more sympathetic
    on your loss of your aunt , he sounds self centered little bit , he's bragging about
    the coat his mom got him and no offense but i see you both need money to be happy
    i do apologize on my part if I'm wrong , i see lot of jealousy going on with you two with
    each other , how would you like to have a boyfriend on just disability with no car but
    would love you to no end , cook supper for you, do your laundry, clean the house for you
    pamper you with massages, even bath you if you wanted him to, i highly doubt you would
    want that type of guy.

  • he seems like a tool


What Girls Said 1

  • You have every right to be mad. He sounds like a spoiled, entitled jerk. I would dump him.

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