Girls if you could write a modern code of chivalry for guys dating, what would it be? Would you appreciate a guy who did that kind of thing?

With how confused modern society is with gender roles, I was curious what women would consider to be acceptable today. I know some guys think it's sexist or unfair but thing is, I want to be that kind of guy who puts his girlfriend ahead of himself and who always does that little bit extra to make her happy. I'm just not sure if women would be offended by it.

So, if you could write me or guys in general a Code of Chivalry to help make the girl I'm dating feel extra special and brag to her friends, what would you include? Pull back her seat for her? Open the door and let her walk through first or just hold the door open? Open her car door for her?

What's still acceptable? Would women appreciate it?

Just to be clear, the question refers more to actual acts that women might appreciate not a dream guy or anything.


Most Helpful Girl

  • i like old school dudes x)
    complete chivalry and respect when dealing with a woman
    and being a gentleman generally, helping others, being nice/understanding/caring, being nice to waiters/beggars/less fortunate, holding doors... etc
    but without being a pushover lol

    ^THIS is the ultimate manliness in my eyes lol

    • How can I do all that without being a pushover?

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    • I once answered a question asking is rape ever ok. I said "it's never okay. I don't need a longer answer. It's never ok." I got 4 upvotes by girls and one downvote by a *ahem* "girl".

      One or two downvotes is inevitable with some of the people here.

    • wow

      lol oh well :P

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 8

  • A lot of things, but it's kinda hard to just make things now. But there were a lot of situation where I wished men in general would react differently.

    I think this is important
    Now you don't have to write her a lover song, but a lot of guys these days talk so crude and oversexulised about women, it's just not attractive. And they act the same way

    • Yeah in general I try to avoid that kind of stuff. Some of the things I hear other guys say are just weird.

      I have a feeling (based on what I've heard from some women) that dating would be much easier if I looked like him. XD

    • lookwise he is actually not really my type, compared to other actors, i don't know what the hype is all about.
      He is however charming and measured by the total population, above average

  • Thoughtful
    self starter
    career oriented
    family friendly
    sexually open
    solid future
    hot for me


    • Sounds good. :) I like to think that I'm most of those (though I'm not sure if I'm hot to you). But what does self starter mean? Self motivated?

      Also, I was asking more about certain acts that showed how thoughtful I was. Are there things I can do that would help with that when we first that dating and I might not know her that well?

    • Self starter means begins doing what needs to be done without being told to do so.

    • Np. XD

      Wrt the chivalry stuff, could you tell me what you would love a guy to do and what would be too much?

  • Being a gentleman should not be something any boy/man should have to convince himself to do, it should be automatic. No woman, mom and the stranger standing next to you included, should ever open a door when a man is around. Please and thank you should be words that are hard not to say not words you have to say. that being said, all you have to remember to make yourself the princely gentleman all woman want, whether they admit it or not, is treat her with the respect and courtesy you would want a man to treat your other favorite woman with, (mom grandma sister daughter etc,)

  • For him to be romantic and treat me right for him to love me but love God more for him to have the same views as me.

  • Like an equal

    No opening doors. I have arms I can do it myself
    No paying for meals. Once in a while is nice but only if it goes bother ways

    Just be respectful

  • Don't get upset if she wants to pay her share
    Do compliment her but also expect compliments in return
    Don't try and grab at her in public (keep pda to a minimum)

  • Treat me like a human being. Treat all human beings with respect and show common courtesy unless they are a danger to you.

    • "Treat me like a human being" - Now let's not go too far. ;)
      I do that anyway but just curious if I should be doing anything extra while I'm dating and if so, what.

    • I think showing common courtesy while still being playful and fun is a good balance.

  • I would say holding doors open for ladies, using manners, good attitude and confidence. Also, making time to counsel/listen to them. Returning calls soon.

    • When you say open doors, do you want him to open it, walk through and hold it til you get there, open it and wait on the other side for you to walk past or open it and wait for you to walk through the door first? I heard a girl on here once say that the guy just did the first one and he 'lost points'.

      Also, when you say return calls soon, would you say that waiting isn't a useful tactic for keeping someone interested or that you just don't want guys to use it on you? XD

What Guys Said 4

  • Chivalry is not needed in modern day society.

    Women want equal rights (as they should) and I believe in treating women like I treat men as my equal. I don't rush around brown nosing men, so I won't do it for women. I hold doors open for men and women, it's not something reserved for women. If I see a person struggling I'll help them, I've helped old men and old women with their shopping bags, I've helped male and female work colleagues out.

    If I take a woman out on a date and she wants to pay half, I say good for her let's pay half each or if she wants to pay for the meal, I'll pay for the drinks afterwards. We'll take in it turns.

    If a woman expects me to be the modern day Mr Darcy then she can find someone else. I am not a nineteenth century character from a hideous novel, I am a modern, contemporary 21st century male.

  • Oh man this should be interesting!

    • "I could learn from this" interesting or "This will all go to hell" interesting? XD

    • @Asker lol Both! hahahaha

  • Going to be blunt and non-PC here. Men do what is effective for getting in bed. Doesn't matter what a women says she wants to be treated like--what is she actually responding to and what is actually getting results? If what you do gets results, then that means the women you meet want to be treated that way--actions matter, not words.

    • Good point I suppose. I've a couple of issues with that though. Firstly, there are different kinds of 'results' (girl can see you as a one night stand or someone to settle down with). Secondly, I won't use this as gospel (same as everything I see here), just tips. Lastly, if what women say doesn't matter, what's the point of the site?

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    • I would also mention you can't hear their tone of voice in written text, making it harder for certain things to be judged. The emotional state of the moment is important for judging what she actually means.

    • Good points! As I said, I know this site is limited in the 'education' it can give you. I'm more looking for a rough idea on what's still allowed.

  • 1|2
    • omg YES YES YES YES !!
      @Asker... THIS right there lol <3

    • That sounds like Ned Flanders in a nut shell.

      Offer a lady a seat? If she's pregnant, old or has some form of disability I concur. If she's a young able bodied girl then she can stand up like everyone else. Don't curse? That's ridiculous as most people swear, cursing is not a sign of rudeness nor a lack of intelligence. Stephen Fry is an extremely intelligent and well rounded guy and he swears, he's said so himself.

      Respect your elders? Respect is a two way street, I've met some nasty and vile old people and I sure as hell don't respect them.

      That list has good points but also has some waffle within it.

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