I'm having trust issues in my ldr, any encouraging words or advice for this? or reasons to why he's not cheating on me?

my boyfriend lives 9hours away. We went from talking a lot to now hardly talking. I mean he texts me all day but he usually messages every hour or 2 and we message about like maybe 10 messages all day back and forth (this may sound clingy) but it's weird. because he doesn't really say what he's doing he just says he's been busy. and I know sometimes he says stuff like I literally slept all day, but before we got official he never did that? and now that's a common thing for him. I don't pressure him to message me, and I don't question his whereabouts and all that, and I don't want to burst out and accuse him of anything. but I recent incident in the past where a friend of his sent me "texts" of my boyfriend saying he's got a girlfriend where he lives. and apparently the messages were fake and the guy has faked messages before. but the girl he mentioned, comments "hott ;)" and stuff on his pictures. and I know this same girl also, he told me about before we dated and she broke his heart ages ago. so why're they so friendly? he also told me in his past though that he is still friends or on friend terms with a lot of his exs. part of me thinks he really wouldn't do this to me, but another part of me is really insecure about this and I can't shake the feeling. Any tips on how to get over the trust issues? or reasons or signs to look for that he isn't cheating cause all sites say what to look for if he is cheating. we're meeting in February so I really wanna get this feeling away before then


Most Helpful Guy

  • Base what you think on his actions.
    What had he done? If he's never done anything to give you a reason to not trust him or question whether or not he is loyal, then he still deserves that trust. You want to hurt your relationship because you randomly felt insecure because of some obscure reason. I text my girlfriend all the time to and sometimes when she asks what I'm doing I don't want to get into specifics so I'll say "just a lot today" and leave it at that. If she ever asks "alot? What all happened?" Then I'll get specific. But your story seems to be you're worried because this time he happened to not openly give as much information as he used to and that's making you feel insecure. But he hasn't actually done anything. If something is bothering you specifically, then tell him that.
    Say something like, "I really like hearing you talk about everything you did over the course of the day. It makes me feel like I'm there and closer to you : )". Give him a reason to want to talk about his day freely day to day

    • thanks for taking the time for reading it at replying, your advice was helpful

    • *nods* glad to help

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What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, go with your gut. Any relationship is built on trust, but it's extremely vital in LDRs. It's not clingy to communicate a lot when you can't physically see each other, so don't feel bad about that :) but you know who you're dealing with, and if you feel like something's not right or different, don't be afraid to ask him about it. Even then, still go with your gut and don't waste anymore of your time with this guy.